Therapy has been going ok, but trying to get my other worker to do what she’s supposed to is really difficult. She’s supposed to be helping me find an apartment because I’m having a hard time doing it myself. The first time she was supposed to take me she said something was wrong with her laptop and the car didn’t get reserved. The second time I tried to call her and got a message that I was blocked. She called me from her personal phone to tell me that her work phone and laptop were stolen out of her car and she should have new ones soon. Why would you keep electronics in a car to begin with? Today she completely blew me off and didn’t show up and didn’t call. I understand that things happen but this is the third time I’ve been canceled on. I may have to contact the person in charge of the program and request someone else because nothing is getting accomplished here. I’m just getting really irritated.

I also missed my psychiatrist appointment because my case manager was out for a week. I wish I never got arrested and lost my car and license because what a pain it is to get anywhere and get anything done. :grr:

I’ve been really mad that my apartment is now infested with cockroaches. I went off a bit on office staff about how tired I am of pest problems. The last unit I lived in here was infested with rats and bedbugs, pest control was having a hard time getting rid of them so I moved to another unit (the one I’m in now). I started seeing a cockroach here and there a week after I moved in here. Pest control has been coming regularly to spray but that isn’t working anymore because the problem has gotten worse. Neighbors had them and never said anything, now most of them have moved out which caused the cockroaches to move in here. I’m now having to spend all this time doing all the prep work for a more intensive treatment. They did this intensive treatment several months ago to all the units and thought that would be the end of it but that is not the case. Everything has to be ready by Wednesday. I got a lot done today. It also doesn’t sound like they want to treat these vacant units until they’re done being remodeled. This could take weeks/months for them to finish them. I doubt that the problem will go away unless they do the treatment in mine and the others the same day.

The lease is up at the end of January and they require 60 days notice if I’m moving. That means I would have to find another place by November. My mental health clinic offers a lot of services, so my case manager is referring me to someone who can help me find another place. They help you find and go look at apartments. I haven’t had a lot of luck looking online, I found one place that might work but I’ll have to see if this person might have other ideas. 5 years at this ridiculous place is plenty. My mental health has gotten worse because there is just problem after problem. I know cockroaches are a common problem in Arizona, but if management would stop making excuses for not checking other units it wouldn’t be getting to this point.

I’ve written about this before, but I had this “friend” who would constantly piss me off with her crappy behavior. She may see this, but oh well who cares.

I met her at my apartment complex a few years ago. This “friendship” was never really right to begin with. I kept telling her the truth but she made it out to always be my fault for not “understanding” or whatever. I understand just fine. It was always a one sided friendship. When I lived on the other side of the complex, she would harass me constantly for cigarettes. She said her boyfriend takes all her money and she can’t buy her own. She uses people. If they have something she wants (cigarettes, a place to live, pot, etc) she’ll always be around. I would always be the one to reach out to talk or hang out but she wouldn’t unless she wanted something. She came over to visit this past Sunday, and the only reason she did that was that she wanted me to go to the store for her. She gave me the money, but still. Her health is bad so she can’t really walk. Staying in bed all the time and abusing pills really isn’t helping the situation (been there done that, it doesn’t help anything at all). She also has no manners and is very rude. Of course, if I bring this up I get yelled at and it’s my fault somehow again. When she was over, she wouldn’t stop texting and talking on the phone. The right thing to do would have been to tell them she’s busy and would talk later. She says she has her own stuff going on and I’m apparently wrong for wanting to actually talk and spend time with her. There’s always some excuse.

I would stupidly forgive her time and time again, probably because I’m not good at socializing and making friends. I can’t let this continue. Even my mom doesn’t like her because of this behavior. Whenever I point out this behavior, I’m the bad guy. I can’t win. I just need to move on with my life. None of this is ever going to change because she doesn’t see an issue with her actions. It’s always my fault. No more.

I plan on moving out of here in the near future, but her lease is up before mine.