Lately I have not been able to leave my apartment (except to smoke, since smoking is not allowed in the apartments here). I have been canceling doctor’s appointments because of anxiety and fear, and I’m worried I will no longer be able to see my psychologist because the doctor’s office has rules about missed appointments. I get so anxious that I become physically ill. I feel like there is some sort of force that is holding me back, not letting me do basic things like go to appointments and go grocery shopping.
I just feel like nothing matters anymore and why do I bother with anything. I wish I could have my therapy session over the phone so I can explain myself as to why I haven’t been showing up. I know I need to go, but I just can’t. I feel trapped in this bubble I can’t escape from.
I’m Erin, a 37 year old childfree woman with autism living in Pennsylvania. I enjoy blogging, movies, reading, journal writing, the paranormal, Android, The X-Files, Stranger Things Deadmau5, metal ducks & birds, Hello Kitty, and Pusheen.