I can’t believe this


This post can only be viewed by registered users. Please register or login on the sidebar.

I don’t know what to think of this

I got a message on Facebook tonight from my ex boyfriend apologizing for everything after we haven’t spoken for a year. I don’t know why he would wait a whole year to do that. He said in his message that sending a friend request wouldn’t be a good idea so I ended up blocking him because I think it’s best we don’t talk anymore. A part of me still isn’t over him and talking to him would make things worse.

He was never understanding of my mental illnesses and things I couldn’t help and got really angry at me and told me to never contact him again, but here he is contacting me. I need a guy (or girl, I just came out as bisexual :-h) who is patient and understanding and won’t judge me for my illnesses. We had other issues too, the main one being communication and other things. I just wanted to move on but he had to stir up old feelings for me. :-(

Not too happy

I had a doctor appointment today, so I get there to find out that her practice closed. So I went home and gave them a call and they told me they moved and gave me the new address. Shouldn’t they have done that when I made the appointment? I had to reschedule the appointment because it was too late. Now I can’t get in til the 27th. Then they tell me that they were now in the next building over, I wish I would have known that but there was no way for me to know since I wasn’t told. I’m just annoyed that I drove all the way there for nothing.

I hope I can find the place and make it to the appointment, I’m really needing a new prescription.

So much anxiety

I hate how anxious I get about things. I’m going to a concert tomorrow night (and the next night) and I’m SO anxious. I always find things to worry about like if things go wrong. I’ve even gotten anxious over doing regular things like laundry, cleaning, etc. With these medication changes I think my anxiety has gotten worse. I need to talk to my doctor about it, although I’m already on an anti-anxiety medication. I just don’t know what else to do. It’s like I can’t enjoy anything without having to endure anxiety and sickness. I’m trying to tell myself that everything will be okay but my brain won’t listen.

I should have seen this coming

I met a guy online and thought we hit it off, and set up to meet next weekend. Today I get a text message from him bailing on me. I feel kind of mad for being led on for so long, he said we can be just friends (they always say that) but I was hoping it would lead to more. I deserve better. I’ve never had any good luck with guys. I hope someday I can find a guy who won’t bail on me and be honest with me.

This is driving me nuts

It’s been really hot lately, around 90 degrees. They decided at the last minute to replace air conditioning units at my apartment complex. They’ve been doing construction work for about a month (which is annoying itself too) and according to the manager, the air conditioning won’t be on until a week from tomorrow. I’m so tired of this hot apartment I could scream. I have several fans going but it doesn’t help much. I did renew my lease but am wondering if I should have or not, there always seems to be something going wrong around here. It’s too hot to not have air conditioning, I have no clue what they were thinking waiting until the last minute to do all this.

Some of the staff live here themselves so it’s nice to know that they have to suffer too. :))

Another eBay nightmare

I’m reluctant to sell anything on there again. I sent a brand new with tags book/Bible cover to the buyer. She claimed it had ink stains all over it which wasn’t true. It certainly wasn’t like that when I shipped it. She also sent me a picture of said stains and it doesn’t even look like the item I sent her. So she opened a case against me because she didn’t like my policy of buyer paying return shipping. I’m in the middle of writing and essay and couldn’t deal with this woman anymore so I just refunded her. Then she left me a negative stating I didn’t refund her shipping costs which I did. All this drama over a $6 item.

Am I really being that unreasonable?

Lately any guy I meet online is always pushy to meet right away, and aren’t understanding of me needing time to get to know them better first. I also have an anxiety/panic disorder which may have something to do with it. In my opinion, talking to someone for only a few weeks and them wanting to meet is a bit soon. I’ve heard so many stories of women being hurt or killed from meeting guys online. I’m just trying to be safe and I want to feel comfortable. Insulting me will make me not even want to meet also. Telling me they are a “nice guy” doesn’t mean anything either. Is this really that unreasonable, or are they just upset that I’m not giving into their demands? I think it’s the latter.

Selling on eBay can be annoying sometimes

I’ve been selling stuff off and on for years now, and recently I got a huge PITA buyer. I was selling my old phone, and the person who bought it didn’t really read the auction very well or not at all because she kept messaging me with all these questions. She was telling me she couldn’t activate the phone so I gave her suggestions. She finally admitted to me that she bought the phone for a carrier the phone wasn’t intended for. I don’t know much about unlocking phones since I buy directly from my wireless carrier (Verizon). She just kept messaging me about it even though I gave her all the information I could and was wondering why she even bothered to buy it. She kept telling me she couldn’t use it because she couldn’t get it activated, so I told her to send it back for a refund. So here I am waiting around for the phone to arrive and it never does. She e-mails me a week or two later to say she was sick and then decided she wants to keep the phone. I hope she doesn’t message me again, because I’m honestly getting tired of her, lol. It wouldn’t surprise me if she comes back with a message wanting to return it again. I ended up adding her to my blocked bidder list because I don’t want her buying from me again.

I wish she would have asked her questions in one e-mail prior to bidding on the phone so my inbox wouldn’t be full of messages. I just didn’t know what she expected me to do other than offer a refund upon return of the item because there was nothing wrong with the phone and it was all user error.

Dear Aaron


This post can only be viewed by registered users. Please register or login on the sidebar.

What a mistake

Getting back together with my ex was a big mistake. He told me he’d changed, and he hadn’t. It was back to the same old stuff: lies, no communication, and more lies. I just kicked him out of my apartment because I said I can’t do this anymore and I deserve to be with someone who will treat me better. I don’t think I can even be friends with someone like that, I’m just done. Surprisingly I don’t feel that hurt about it, mostly just mad at myself for falling for his lies again.

Hopefully someday I’ll find the right guy, but I now know for certain he’s not the right guy.

Gotta love my neighbors

I have some pretty annoying neighbors, but last night took the cake. The guy living next to me came home to blow up at me for smoking outside and slammed his door. I’m trying to quit smoking (it’s been pretty hard), and people are allowed to smoke outside, there’s even a smoking area. I’m not the only one who smokes outside either. I don’t know if he just had a bad day and took it out on me or what, but it was uncalled for. His loud music gets annoying and gives me a headache, but I don’t say anything to him because I try to mind my own business around here. I don’t like to smoke inside my apartment because I don’t want the smoke to go up into the air ducts and disturb the guy living above me, but I guess you can’t please everyone.

It would be nice though if people would just mind their own business or at least ask politely for me to stop, but that seems doubtful.

Oops

I had a large reseller I wasn’t using anymore since I’m not as big on blogging as I used to be, so I moved to a smaller host. I did a backup, but I guess something went wrong because I lost my new theme as well as posts. Once I’m done with school (one class almost done, two more to go!) I’ll be in the mood to work on this site more. With homework and other stuff I haven’t felt like it.

Anyway, this Thanksgiving I don’t plan on doing much except cook dinner for myself. My parents have moved back to Pennsylvania so we won’t be spending holidays together. It sucks, but I think staying in Arizona is best for me. I just can’t take cold weather anymore. Speaking of cold, I wish my landlord would turn the heat on, it’s been getting so chilly at night. I live in a converted resort complex with all utilities included, so the landlord controls the air conditioning and heat. I think their reason for not turning the heat on yet is a bit stupid (they want our apartments to be comfortable for Thanksgiving cooking) and not a valid reason for freezing every night. Oh well, I got myself an electric blanket and that’s all I can do for now. Happy Thanksgiving in advance.

I live in such an annoying neighborhood

I was up until around 6 in the morning because of a dog howling loudly outside. It was right outside my window, and it went on for hours. I don’t understand how people can leave a dog outside all night in the cold like that either. I haven’t been feeling well lately, and have been having some back pain. It’s hard to get any sleep at all around here with all the noise. Tonight my back started acting up again so I tried to take a nap, but the very loud music from across the street preventing me from doing so. There are of course several dogs barking, and police sirens to go along with it all. There’s also this crazy guy that races up and down this street at really high speeds (it’s only 25mph through here) with his tires screeching and everything. This is not good because there are so many joggers, skateboarders, and bikers out and someone could get hurt. He’ll eventually get caught since police like to watch this area for speeders.

That’s not all. There are also noisy kids that ride their bikes and play on the street, and this makes it difficult for cars to get in and out. I don’t know why the parents aren’t keeping an eye on them, or better yet, they should be taking them to the park a block over. The HOA is also ridiculous. They have actually sent notices in the mail to people who park their cars on the street. How stupid is that? What are people supposed to do when they have company and the driveway/garage is full? I’m hoping I can get out of this lame suburb this year or the next. I can honestly say I have never lived in such a noisy neighborhood like this. %-(

Not happy with Target right now

I ordered a top online through Target, since it said it was only available online. The shipping took so long I actually forgot about it until I got it today. It doesn’t fit, and that’s the largest size they had. It was an XL, and it looked like something suited for a size 0, not something I would expect from an XL. It’s just sad how tiny sizes are now.

There was no sizing chart on Target’s website, so I had to take a chance. I was at least able to take it back to the store to return it instead of having to pay to ship it back, but they wouldn’t refund me. All they gave me was a Target gift card, so I had to walk around the store to try to find something to buy. I ended up having to kick in some of my own money which I wasn’t happy about either. I don’t get why I couldn’t just get my money back, yes I did open the package but how else was I supposed to know how it would fit if I didn’t try it on? Target, put a damn sizing chart on your website, it will save your customers a lot of hassle.

Really?

I’m pretty annoyed that my web design instructor gave me a lousy grade on an assignment. He said I inserted the images incorrectly. Yes, I did, because I figured he would complain that they wouldn’t show up. I know how to insert an image. This class is so damn basic that it’s confusing me. I feel insulted that he thinks I’m too stupid to insert and image when I’ve had my own websites since I was a teenager. This degree has been nothing but a waste, I can’t wait until I’m done. All of you employers out there, you really shouldn’t have a degree as a requirement for a web design job. There are people that can design websites without degrees.

I guess I wasn’t fully aware of what I was getting myself into when I signed up for school (I mostly went because of pressures from family, and I thought I might learn something new). So far, I haven’t learned a whole lot. I think the only thing I will get out of this degree is a large amount of student loan debt. My advice to anyone considering school for any concentration, is to really think it through, especially the particular college you want to attend.

Finally


This post can only be viewed by registered users. Please register or login on the sidebar.

It’s all just too much

Edit: To make matters worse, she tried to steal my car last night when I was asleep. My mom stopped her before she could finish backing out of the driveway.

I have mentioned how bad my home life is before on my old domain (I don’t know if anyone even reads these things anyway) but everything has gotten much worse. Here’s a bit of a backstory.

My sister has some serious mental issues as well as a heroin problem. Almost every day in this house is a nightmare. She screams, slams doors, calls all of us names, and steals whatever she can get her hands on. Unfortunately, because of my limited income, I can’t just go get an apartment. It has to be income based, which have waiting lists. I really hope one is available so I can move this year or the next.

My parents have done nothing but try to help my sister, but my dad keeps handing her money which is not the right thing to do for a drug addict. My mom has taken her to a psychiatrist and got her on medication to try to help her get off of the drugs, which my mom has to pay for out of pocket (very expensive). It seems obvious to me that she’s still on drugs by her behavior. Some nights I have been in tears because of how horribly she treats all of us. My dad got so angry at her screaming at him that he looked like he was going to hit her. My dad refuses to kick her out because he feels bad for her. My mom believes in tough love and her and dad get into arguments about this all the time. He says he can’t just put her out on the street because she’s his daughter. What he doesn’t realize is, he’s not doing her any favors by allowing her to stay here and give her money. This gives her no incentive to change. We wonder if she ever will, because when we moved out here to Arizona, we left her behind in Pennsylvania. She lived on the streets for a year, and my parents allowed her to come here to stay with us because she said she’d change. She hasn’t.

She lives like one of those people you see on that show Hoarders, piles of stuff everywhere including rotting food. She has burnt holes and stained the brand new carpet in her bedroom. She just doesn’t care. Her boyfriend (who she breaks up with and gets back together with every week which is even more drama), is also a problem. He was basically living in our house for months and sneaking in her bedroom window until my dad told him he’d call the police because he didn’t want him in this house. I don’t think she has any business driving either, because she keeps getting ticket after ticket and ignores them. Debt collectors keep calling because of a medical bill she can’t pay and refuses to try to work something out. She can’t keep a job because she won’t show up. She only has two things on her mind: boyfriend and drugs.

Fast forward to tonight, a police officer showed up at our door asking for her and her boyfriend. I was outside and told him they weren’t home and didn’t know where they were. He said she was walking around Walmart for 3 hours acting very suspicious. A woman claimed she stole her wallet and ran. The cop asked her if he could search her, and she declined. He couldn’t do it because he was the only cop and I guess another cop would have to be there to witness it or something. He also asked her to show him her arms which she also refused. You can tell by looking at her she has a drug problem, and she of course didn’t want to show him the needle marks on her arms. The cop unfortunately said he had no proof that she stole the wallet, but had a strong suspicion that she did. He said if he had the proof he definitely would have arrested her. We all provided the cop with her history and he took her license plate number down and had her boyfriend’s as well. He gave us his number to call and told us to call 911 if she starts to scream and disrupt the house again. The cop said he wanted to do what he could to help us because he has a sister that has a drug problem and knows what we’re going through.

I really hope all this stuff catches up to her and she goes to jail. I think that is the only thing that will help her. We were telling the cop that back in Pennsylvania, she was transporting heroin with other people in her car and only got off with a paraphernalia charge. He thought that was crazy and said they are tougher out here. I think jail is what she needs. She’s gone far too long without punishment for all the stealing, harassment, and fraud she’s committed. It just makes me sick and embarrassed that I’m even related to someone like this. My mom is trying to get an apartment back in Pennsylvania because she can’t take it anymore. I wish my dad would stop allowing her to stay here because as long as she does, nothing will change. :-<