Today I met with the new therapist who was taking my old therapist’s place. I was only in there for a few minutes and she really upset me, so I walked out. I started talking about what was bothering me, and she ended up just making me feel much worse. It was about something personal, so I won’t write it here. I wasn’t comfortable in her office anyway because it is 90 degrees outside with some humidity and she had a heater on. It just isn’t going to work out, so whenever I can get ahold of my case manager, I’ll have to be referred elsewhere because that’s the only therapist they have. My case manager actually forgot to set up the transportation to this appointment, and another case manager had to pick me up to get me there. Maybe that was a sign I shouldn’t have gone, lol. I don’t click with every therapist I’ve had, so this has happened before. My depression has been difficult this past week, and going in there to be upset really didn’t help anything. She seemed to really lack understanding and wanted to be judgmental when she didn’t even know me. It’s funny though that when I met her for the first time but with my old therapist, she wasn’t like that. I at least made sure transportation was set up for my doctor appointment next Tuesday.
I’m also hesitant to be referred elsewhere because the same thing could happen. I don’t know, maybe I just need time to process that my old therapist is gone and I’ll never see her again. There was only one other time I’ve walked out on a therapist like that, and that was when I was in my early 20’s. That one didn’t believe I had any illnesses and said that to my face, even though the doctor said otherwise. The whole thing just really upset me.
Every little thing has been irritating me. A bit of TMI: I start that time of month in a week and all my mental health symptoms get much worse at that time. Still having issues at the new place. What I’m most angry about is this apparent cockroach issue that’s coming from another apartment. Why can’t I just live without all this crap? It’s always something going wrong, I’m just fed up. Not only that, but the move in inspection sheet I was told I had to fill out and return before I was given my mailbox keys seems to have been pointless. Anything that is missing/broken/needs work done on was to be written down on the inspection sheet. It’s been over a week and not one thing on the list has been done. They did do something that wasn’t on the list, the transfer of my screen door and a new lock put on. The door was transferred pretty quickly but the lock took over a week for them to come put on which only took 5 minutes. The other stuff won’t take that long either. Trying to get maintenance to come do anything around here is like pulling teeth. I would think that after everything I’ve been through, they’d be more willing to try to make things better by getting stuff done, but apparently not. The manager “sincerely apologized” for the cockroach issue and said that she didn’t see or hear of any problem. Uh huh. Now I’m locked into a lease here for another year, and who knows for how much longer after that because trying to even get on a housing list is extremely difficult. Housing applications for another city opened up so I applied, but haven’t heard back. I probably wasn’t one of the ones chosen to be placed on the list. So many people need housing, but they don’t have enough vouchers for everyone. I feel bad for complaining about all this, but it’s just so crazy so you can probably imagine how frustrated and angry I am.
On another note, I have closed my other websites and will be switching hosts later this month. I’m not happy with my current host because of downtime and lack of support. The also stopped offering shared and reseller hosting altogether. I’m just going to get a shared hosting plan elsewhere. I’ve been wanting to switch hosts, but didn’t really have the time to deal with that because I was getting ready to move.
Update 8/22/16: Pest control came by to spray and bait, and a little while after he left, I saw another one on the wall. I e-mailed the manager and she sincerely apologized because there was no issue reported in this apartment previously. The problem is that people who have pest problems are not reporting it to management when they are required to do so as stated in the lease. This just causes problems for other people. They said no activity was found in my apartment, and that they were coming from another apartment. So they’re going to have to inspect the people around me to find the problem. Why would you want to live with bugs and not tell anyone? People are ridiculous.
I haven’t even lived here a week and I found a roach in the kitchen last night. I’m really mad. Pest control is coming on Monday. That’s just ridiculous. It never ends does it? I’m also still waiting on maintenance do to the things that need to be done. I wish I could live in a house and not be so close to people.
I saw that this huge 2 night NYE event is going on here and Deadmau5 will be playing. I can’t go because just general admission tickets are over $200. I wouldn’t have any way to get there anyway. Maybe if I was rich. It would be nice to see him again, but I just can’t afford it. Have to pay bills, gotta love being an adult. I remember last year I bought a ticket to the Hello Kitty festival and ended up not being able to go and was out the money. That’s what I hate about buying tickets months in advance, something can come up.
My internet bill is more than double because of the installation, which they overcharged me for. I contacted them and they said they’d give me a credit for $25 on the next bill. They told me installation was going to be $50, and I was charged $75.
It still seems like nothing is going right, especially with the new apartment. The manager said if it’s just one then don’t worry too much, but if there are more then they will have to fog and I would have to get everything prepped after I got everything unpacked. I feel like I’m cursed.
It’s monsoon season here, and I never like it when it happens. Too much rain preventing me from going to the store or doing my laundry. A lot of people here love it, but when I lived in Pennsylvania, it was always snowing or raining and I was always stuck inside. Here I’m outside a lot except for when the monsoons hit. Yesterday I had a doctor appointment and really needed to go to the pharmacy afterwards, but a storm hit and there was a lot of flooding. I waited until it finally stopped raining to go, and I lost one of my shoes in the flooded street. It was like a river in the street and the shoe got carried away to the middle of a busy intersection so I couldn’t get it. I felt so stupid walking into Walgreens with only 1 shoe on. I also realized that I left my debit card at home, but luckily I had enough cash on me to get the prescriptions. I wanted to buy a pair of flip flops so I’d have something to wear on the walk home, but I didn’t have enough cash left to buy them. I had to walk all the way home with only 1 shoe. Earlier that day, the cab never showed up to take me to my doctor appointment so my case manager had to come get me, I was late to the appointment but at least he was willing to still see me because it wasn’t my fault.
I’m still really stressed and overwhelmed from having to spend 2 straight weeks prepping for that bedbug treatment, and I’m feeling the pressure of maybe not getting all the cleaning done in time. For one, I can’t even find my cleaning supplies. Literally everything had to be thrown in boxes quickly to be ready for the treatment. I’ve gone through most of them and still can’t find what I need. I’m trying to look at the positive that I’ll be out of this awful apartment in 12 days, but it’s hard. I was then told by my case manager that the housing I applied for I may not even qualify for anymore. She won’t have any more information on that until Friday. The city of Phoenix is opening up the housing list for applications on Monday and she told me I should apply. Unfortunately, the apartment I’m moving to is not in Phoenix, so I may have to move AGAIN. I wish they would have opened that list a long time ago.
I just had to throw out all my Christmas decorations because it was all destroyed by the rats. Some of that stuff was sentimental and can’t be replaced. There has also been damage to furniture and cords to electronics. The apartment manager says they are not responsible for any of the damage. How are they not responsible? They failed to hire a decent exterminator to take care of the problem, so I’m having to move to get away from these rats. It’s their building, not mine. Renter’s insurance also doesn’t cover damage by rodents. They recently fired the exterminator who was coming every week about the rats. He wasn’t able to do anything more that he had already done anyway.
None of this has been fair to me. I’ve been complaining for a long time about these issues and was told my only option was to move.
The apartment manager here is requiring I have a bed bug treatment before I move. I have been seeing them in odd places and she thinks they’re coming from another apartment, so the apartments around me are being inspected on Monday. She gave me until the 25th to get my apartment prepped for treatment. They fired the guy who was handling my apartment, he doesn’t require all the prep work, but the other company does. Everything has to be removed from closets, cupboards, drawers, absolutely everything has to be removed from the kitchen, curtains taken down, etc. I decided to just start packing since I’m moving on August 15th. I’m trying to get it all done in time, and it’s stressful.
On an unrelated note, I had to report a cable technician to the cable company yesterday. A technician was working in another apartment, and when he’d see me outside, he’d keep waving. I basically ignored it, and was hauling things out to the trash. He then walked over to me, introduced himself, and asked where I was going, then asked if I was married. I just started unlocking my door to go back in and he asks, “what, you don’t want to talk?”. I found all this highly inappropriate. He made me really uncomfortable. I thought he was really out of line for working at someone else’s apartment and then coming over to bother another tenant (me) with personal questions that were none of his business. I heard back from the cable company this morning and they’re going to take care of it. Who knows how many women he has acted this way towards.
I’ve been having issues with my case manager (previous) for months, and I just got a new one. To read about all the case manager woes, visit sometimes.blue. She is actually helpful and responsive, unlike the other one. The old one would schedule transportation to appointments in the middle of the night instead of the afternoon because he couldn’t be bothered to check. I got tired of getting woke up because of it. He had also told me that I was on a housing list as of last year. I find out today from my new case manager that this wasn’t true. I was really upset. I now have to wait at least a year on the list. My new case manager brought over some boxes to pack to move to the new apartment. I also asked about assistance with moving, and was told I need to try to find other resources first. I have to call at least 6 different places to see if they will help. I have to document who I’ve called and what they said, and if they all say no, then I can fill out an application for moving services. I’m going to feel like such an idiot doing that. I think it’s stupid they’re making me do that. I have to do what I have to do, I guess.
An exterminator is coming on Monday to do an inspection, I can’t wait for this to be over. I found out that the lady next door’s apartment is not acceptable to management and she has to rectify it immediately. I found out that she has had a roach problem all this time and never reported it as she was required to per the lease. That might be contributing to the problems I’m having with pests, although I don’t have roaches. I have lived here for 4 years, 3 years was fine until all these new people moved in around me this past year. I’ve had nothing but problems since then. I just have to hang in there until I can get moved.
I wish that incident never happened last year. It really ruined my life. Now I no longer have a car and can’t get my license back. It’s so difficult to get transportation scheduled to get to appointments, I have to walk in 110 degree heat to get groceries and medications, I need moving boxes but have no idea how to get to a place to get them or how to even get them home.
I don’t want to use Uber because they could end up charging whatever they wanted to my card (I’ve seen articles on this). At least cabs take cash, that’s how I prefer to pay so that there are no surprises later, but it’s costly.
I’m always stuck at home because I can’t get anywhere. Buses are a panic attack waiting to happen. I wish there was a cheaper way to get around without taking a bus.
I really can’t deal with this rat problem anymore. There’s obviously an infestation. The exterminator setting traps is not fixing the problem. It has to be determined how they are getting in and that entrance sealed off. I really don’t think anyone has been making enough effort to get rid of them. I can’t move until August. They can’t keep ignoring the problem or doing very little about it because nobody else is going to want to move into this apartment after me with this problem. I’ve lived here for 4 years, and the past year I have had nothing but problems with rats and other pests. It’s the type of people moving in around me. The problem started next door, but because she has a cat, they’re all over here now. Nobody should be stuck in an apartment and have to live with something like this, it is a health hazard. I have a feeling time is going to go by really slow, August seems so far away.
Last year, I got bed bugs really bad. I have never had them in my life. Seems funny to me that after a new guy moved in who was bringing in used furniture from the dumpster got them and then I did. Of course the apartment manager didn’t accept this reason and blamed it on me. I was forced to pay over $200 for the treatments which didn’t even get rid of them. Another exterminator had to come in and get rid of them.
Fast forward to now, I’ve been seeing a few of them here and there in the bathroom sink. I notified the manager because I’m required to do that as per my lease. I told her that if they’re being found in the bathroom, they’re probably coming from another apartment. She said that that was plausible, but is probably residual activity, again blaming it on me. Well, the exterminator came yesterday, found no bed bug activity in my apartment, and determined they were coming from another apartment. I got an e-mail from the manager saying that no activity was found in my apartment and that an inspection will be done next Tuesday on neighboring apartments. No apology or anything. I hope they find out who it is because if they’re not reporting the problem to the manager, they’ll get in serious trouble. I don’t know how they’re going to be able to properly inspect the lady next door. I’ve been in her apartment, and there is so much stuff that you can barely walk in there. She can’t even sleep in the bedroom because it is literally full of boxes. Hopefully something is done about this whole situation.
Out of the blue, I received a text from the woman I used to be friends with that I cut out of my life because of how she treated me. She said “what, you don’t talk to me anymore?” I was like no, not anymore after how you’ve been treating me. The last time we spoke, she said she was never really my friend. That was the last straw for me. She says she can’t remember saying that. How convenient, I remember it clear as day. All she had done was accuse me of messing around with her boyfriend (who I have absolutely no interest in), lie to me, and use me. At least 90% of the things she’d talk to me about were complaints about said boyfriend. I think she did the right thing leaving him, she would always complain about how horrible he was to her. The only reason she wants to get back with him is because she doesn’t like where she’s living now. I really don’t know why she would want to get back with him, doesn’t make any sense to me. She left a voicemail trying to make me feel bad for her, which is what she often does. She just started talking to me like nothing even happened. She has a very unhealthy obsession with him, and it affected our friendship. All this time, I was just being too nice and kept forgiving her when she didn’t deserve it. I’m not going to play her games anymore. I had to block her number again because Verizon’s blocks only last for 90 days, and the block expired. Since she was blocked for that long, I really don’t know why she would still be trying to contact me. If this doesn’t stop, I’ll have to go the legal route to get her to stop bothering me because she just won’t listen.
Update: The card company responded on Twitter, and said they would have someone follow up with me. That never happened, so I made the switch to NetSpend even though I said I wouldn’t, they just offered so much more so I think the fee will be worth it. So long, CARD.com. Pretty sad they couldn’t even respond to me to fix a simple issue.
I also heard back from the Amazon seller, they issued me a refund for the one towel in question.
I’ve had a prepaid debit card for almost a year now. I have been trying for several months to update my email address to no avail. I called support and they told me it couldn’t be done over the phone, and that I would have to email them. I’ve sent several emails over the past few months and they won’t respond. I decided to try to take it to Twitter, and they haven’t responded to me there yet either. I might have to look into a card with someone else. I was looking, and the only one I found that would work for me was an American Express one. I don’t know if everyone takes that, I know my hair salon doesn’t. Years ago I had a card from NetSpend, but canceled it because there’s no way around the monthly fee. With the card I have now, they waived the monthly fee because of my direct deposit. I would also prefer a card with more security, because all they require is an email and password to sign in. When I lost my card one time, it took a full week to receive a new one. When someone stole my debit card number and made unauthorized charges one time, I canceled the card and it took a full week to receive a new card, and they charged me for it. I would prefer a Visa or MasterCard, with security and support who will actually respond.
Another thing I’m irritated about is that I bought a bath towel set from an Amazon seller, and after one use, one of the towels looked like it had been bleached in two areas. It took me awhile to figure out what caused it, and it’s apparently my face wash. It has never stained other towels, so I guess the towel set was not good quality. I emailed the seller and have yet to receive a response. I guess I need to find a different face wash too.
I’ve blogged about this before in the past, but am doing it again because I need to get things off my chest. I’ve had this “friend” for over 2 years who has never treated me that well. She had been dating this really awful guy for that long, and finally ended it with him. Then she jumps right into a new relationship and I guess I was kind of irritated because that really isn’t very sensible so I said something about it. She got really mad as she often does, and accused me of sleeping with her ex boyfriend. Whenever she gets mad, she accuses me of things I didn’t do and have no intention of doing. For some strange reason, she seems obsessed with me doing things with him when I’ve told her I don’t know how many times that I’m not interested in him. A little while ago, she called me screaming that I did something I didn’t do. She said that I was never really her friend and I decided to block her. She even had the audacity to call my mom to try to drag her into it. My mom really doesn’t care about what she has to say and has never liked her.
I’ve given her way more chances than she’s deserved, I’m honestly done. She was never a “friend” because she would ignore me, lie, and make accusations. I have no idea why I’ve kept her in my life as long as I have. She obviously has some sort of issue she needs to work out if she’s lashing out all the time. I’ve been under a lot of stress and really don’t need this in my life.
Edit: We’re no longer friends again.
My friend and I made up, she admitted to going through some personal things and that wasn’t her talking and she messed up.
Last night there was an apartment cookout and none of them wanted me there. Apparently they don’t like that I don’t talk much, or don’t like me, or whatever. I have a neurological disorder called autism (people should know about this by now with all the autism awareness out there), and it has to do with social impairment and other things. People shouldn’t hate me for that or hold it against me. I’ve been treated like shit my whole life and I’m getting really tired of it. I have other problems as well that are difficult to deal with, but people are just not caring enough to understand and it’s sad.
I don’t feel I deserve to be treated this way, I’m human too.
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My friend got in my face and yelled at me for texting her asking when she’s going to be home while at a friend’s house. All I wanted to do was see if she could hang out. Now she’s being a bitch to me. I don’t need any of this so I blocked her from Facebook and texting me. She spends so much time with her other friends that she forgets about me and it’s not a good feeling. She also makes me come visit her or answer her texts constantly when I don’t want to because I want time to myself (I’m autistic and this is something I need, to be alone). I was also sick of her using me.
I just can’t deal with it anymore and I think it’s time to move on. If she can’t be understanding, then I can’t keep doing this. I’ve always had struggles making and keeping friends because of mental health problems, so maybe it’s for the best. I’m just really angry and hurt. Now I don’t have anybody, which is fine because I can make it on my own.
Un an unrelated note, please consider signing up for an account to read my private posts. I also got a new e-mail address: email@example.com.
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Where to start…well, I’m in love with someone I can’t have, my mental illnesses are acting up, still having financial difficulties, and just feel overall pretty terrible. It’s hard to handle all this stuff, it really wears me down.
I’ve been struggling with things since childhood and now in adulthood it’s gotten worse. Since it’s gone on this long, will things ever get better? I often ask myself this. If you’re the praying type, please pray for me or keep me in your thoughts, I’d really appreciate it.
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The maintenance guy came today to finish the drywall, and it looks bad. He also didn’t fix my faucet right. So I went to the assistant manager and complained. The head of maintenance came over and fixed the faucet properly and took pictures of the bad drywall job. To top it all off he used the wrong color paint. Head of maintenance said he’s going to redo it all next week himself and even took pictures. That one maintenance guy does crappy work and if he’s not careful he’s going to get fired. I’m not happy with it and all the inconvenience it has caused me.
At least if the guy in charge does it, it’ll be done right this time. Hopefully.
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