It’s cold outside

I’ve been really cold. It’s not as cold as when I lived in Pennsylvania where it can get below 0, but in Arizona, I’m used to very high temperatures most of the year. The apartment complex I live in uses a chiller system, it’s an old system that I’m not too fond of because you can only have either air conditioning or heat, not both at the same time. They finally shut down the chiller systems today, and they have to be down for at least 2 days before the heat can be turned on. I was told it will be on Wednesday. I’ve been having to use a space heater because management wouldn’t start the process of getting the heat on until after Thanksgiving, because they say too many people would complain if the heat was on while they are preparing Thanksgiving dinner, saying it would be too hot.

My Thanksgiving was pretty dull, I just made a casserole because I didn’t want to go through all the trouble of making a huge meal just for myself. I also met some neighbors, a husband, and wife. The husband has mental illnesses which are pretty obvious and he told me about. They have knocked on my door at night before and I got irritated. Just the husband knocked on the door last night because he was out of cigarettes. I gave him a couple because he has done the same for me a few times. He started rambling on and on and not much of it made sense, so I told him I had to go back inside and he left. I’m going to have to tell him that we seem to be on different schedules. He and his wife sleep during the day and are up at night. I am up during the day and go to bed at night. I really don’t want anyone knocking on the door after dark.

Got a refund

The seller gave me a refund without me having to ship it back, so that’s good. I think I’ll be avoiding that site from now on, seems to be mostly cheap stuff from China. I found a lot of complaints online about them.

Today .blog domains were available for registration, pretty much any good name is a “premium” domain for thousands of dollars. So much for that. I didn’t have the money anyway, and the names I would want I can’t get. I’ll be sticking with this domain, I’ve had it since 2008. I don’t even need to renew it until 2018.

Last week was a lousy week

This post will be TMI, just a bit of a warning.

Last Tuesday, I came down with a nasty virus and started feeling very dizzy. The dizziness made me start throwing up a lot. I was stuck in bed for days because of how awful I felt. I wasn’t able to go down the stairs or anything. I couldn’t keep any food down either. Every day after that I thought I was better but started feeling like crap again. It’s been almost a week and I’m finally better. I had to get caught up on the cleaning this morning so maintenance can come. I had to put it off until I was well enough to clean because I wasn’t able to while I was sick. On Friday, someone from my clinic was suppposed to call and set up a time to do a home visit to help me with something. I never heard from her, maybe because my case manager told her I was sick. I’m going to see if I can get ahold of her. I may have missed the opportunity for help, but I was just too sick to have someone come over.

I seem to get sick with this same thing every year around Thanksgiving. I also catch a bad cold this time of year. I’m just glad I’m able to get back to a normal routine and am not stuck in bed.

RIP laptop

I ended up ruining my laptop, probably because of lack of sleep. I spilled soda all over it and it quit working. I should have tried to save it (I don’t really know if I could have) but shortly after it happened, I fell asleep after being awake for 4 days. I wish my doctor would do something because being awake for days isn’t normal. He probably won’t prescribe anything because of that addiction I had to Klonopin that ruined my life. I had that laptop for 6 years, I got it for college.

Anyway, a new laptop is coming so I only have my phone for now.

They fogged my apartment today

The exterminator came and fogged the apartment today. Unfortunately, he found a live bedbug on the bed. That was the only one he found. He has to come back in 2 weeks to check on things. He didn’t think there was really an issue. So far the move is still on, if something happens, the manager will let me know at least a week in advance in case I need to reschedule with the moving company.

I guess all I can do is pray and hope I can still move as scheduled. I had them really bad last year, and this is nothing like that. If I can’t move on time, then there’s really nothing I can do even though it would be a big letdown because I really want to get out of there.

Emergency at the clinic today

Normally I post happenings at the clinic on sometimes.blue, but this I decided to post here. I had a therapy appointment today, and it went well. I was waiting in the lobby for a cab home when things took a turn for the worse. First there was a lot of whispering, then someone shouted “call 911” and then there was a “code yellow” alert over the loudspeaker and a lady said to hurry and come with her. Everyone was running out the back of the building. A code yellow means someone on the premises has a weapon. My case manager and a few people were trying to keep me calm because I started to go into a panic attack. They were all saying this was a drill, but clearly it was not because cops were everywhere and a woman was arrested. Very scary situation. I don’t know if this will be on the news or not because terrible things happen in Phoenix all the time. This was probably more of a mental health issue than a criminal one, but I don’t know any more details. I’ll update this if I hear any more.

I really hate to do this

I have a GoFundMe set up because according to Verizon now, I still owe on the phone that was stolen. I was making monthly payments on the phone and I was still paying on it. I hate to ask for help with this, but I really can’t afford to pay the $208 I owe on it all at once. I had to enter another payment agreement to get a new phone (that I received on Monday). The $208 will be added to my next bill which is due on June 7th. If anyone can donate even a little bit, it will help lower the bill. In return, I can offer free hosting and a permanent link to your site on here. I’m just at a loss about what to do here. I was going to keep the phone until it was paid off, but some asshole stole it and Verizon doesn’t seem to care.

I might get bad feedback from this, but I’ve seen GoFundMe pages set up for worse things.

My phone was stolen yesterday

I am so devastated. Yesterday I had a therapy appointment, and because of the amount of stress I’m under and lack of sleep due to insomnia, my phone fell out of my bag in the cab. They created a lost and found claim and said they’d e-mail me, but I haven’t heard anything. Nobody has been honest enough to return it to me. It’s highly unlikely that I’ll get it back. When I first talked to Verizon, they said I couldn’t get a new phone without paying the balance I owed on the one that got stolen. A few hours after that, mysteriously, when I added a new phone to my cart and checked out, the balance on the old phone disappeared and they only charged me a $20 upgrade fee. Maybe they realized how upset I was and decided to help me out after all. Unfortunately, it won’t arrive until Monday. I have a doctor appointment then so I guess the doctor’s office will have to call me a cab.

This whole situation sucks. I’ve never lost a phone, ever. I’m having to use Skype to call my mom, I tried to call the clinic but they wouldn’t accept the call. So really the only way people can contact me right now is by e-mail. I am mad about whoever took the phone, and I’m also concerned about all my personal information that’s in there. I changed the passwords to my e-mail, social media accounts, and bank account. If I didn’t do that, then whoever has it could just open the apps and access all my accounts. I also suspended my service so whoever has it can’t use my account to call and text. It’s just one thing after another.

It’s finally over

Some of you may have been wondering what has been going on as far as the court stuff, but today was my last court date and everything is public record now, so it’s ok to talk about it. I want to start off by saying that if I find any rude comments they’ll be deleted, I already feel bad enough about the whole thing.

On August 6, 2015, I was arrested for DUI/DWI and 2 counts of hit and run, as well as several traffic violations. I had become addicted to my prescription Klonopin and was abusing it. I would be so out of it that I didn’t know what I was saying and doing. I don’t know why I got in the car that day, I honestly felt fine. I ended up in another city not too far from here, and rear-ended a guy. I panicked and drove off. Shortly after that, the police were behind me so I pulled into a gas station and got out. They were asking me questions like “why didn’t you stop?”, all I could say in response was that I was scared. The police ended up getting my insurance information to give to the guy I hit, then read me my rights, handcuffed me, and took me to the jail. My car was also towed to the impound lot. At the jail, they had me do those field sobriety tests and I failed miserably. They took my license and said it would be suspended for 90 days, and gave me a temporary license. Then they had a nurse take my blood. After all that, they gave me paperwork stating when I had to appear in court and let me go. Later I found out that I had admitted everything to the police later on when I received the police report.

When I got to court, it was for my arraignment. The judge read me the charges and said for the DUI/DWI charges, there would be mandatory jail time. I also filled out an application for a public defender and was approved because I couldn’t afford my own attorney. I had several court dates after that, none of which anything really happened. My public defender wanted to send my case to mental health court because he got all my mental health records. I don’t know if I had to go to at least 5 court dates where nothing happened. A lot of it was waiting for the results of the blood test. A few months ago, I went to mental health court and the judge ordered me to do 16 hours of drug treatment and drug testing. I successfully completed those, then I had a court date for March 15th. At this point, I was presented with a plea agreement by my public defender. For pleading guilty, I got 1 day in jail suspended (meaning I didn’t have to actually serve it), had to be fingerprinted and have a mug shot taken at the police department, and attend a restitution hearing. The DUI/DWI, 2 counts of hit and run were dropped, and I was only charged with reckless driving. I think that because I had no prior criminal record, that that was why I didn’t get sent to jail.

Fast forward to today, 8 months after my arrest, I attended the restitution hearing. The judge said I didn’t owe anything and was free to go. I wish the doctor who prescribed the Klonopin would have noticed that I had a problem, but he didn’t. I didn’t finally admit to him that I had a problem until after I got arrested. I also ended up in a psychiatric hospital for a week because the whole arrest and situation made me have a mental breakdown. While I was in the hospital, they did a blood test and determined that I had overdosed on the Klonopin.

I can’t believe this had been going on for 8 months, I wish they could have come to a resolution a lot sooner. I was under large amounts of stress during that time. I’m glad it’s finally over and I can finally move on. Unfortunately, I couldn’t afford to get my car out of impound, so I left it there. There was also so much damage to my car that I wouldn’t have been able to afford to get it fixed either. My license is still suspended because I owe the MVD an abandoned vehice fee of $600 and would have to pay that to reinstate my license. There was no way I could afford that. I also recently got a traffic survival school order in the mail because of the reckless driving charge. I couldn’t do that either because I can’t afford to go to the school. My license will just have to stay suspended, I just can’t afford everything they’re asking me to do to keep it. I don’t really see the point anyway because I no longer have the car.

It’s much more difficult getting around now, I don’t have the freedom I once had. Even if I did have the money to pay everything and get my license back, it would be a bad idea to drive while I’m on medication. Out here, they don’t care if you’re on prescription drugs, drunk, or street drugs, it’s all treated the same. I wouldn’t want to risk getting another DUI, because for it to happen again, I would definitely go to jail.

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Might be moving into a different apartment

I spoke with the assistant manager today and told her I was seriously considering taking up her offer on moving to a different apartment. The exterminator still can’t get rid of the rat problem and it’s highly unlikely that he will. I’m also still having issues with hot water. She told me to check back with her in April because there isn’t an apartment available right now. I will need more time than that, I’d say at least 2-3 months because of everything going on right now. I need more time to get all my ducks in a row. I also would have to weigh the pros and cons of a downstairs apartment versus an upstairs one.

I came down with an awful cold a couple days ago, and it has been making me miserable. Because of the medications I’m on, my options are limited on what type of cold medicine I can take. The one the pharmacist recommended is not helping at all, and I just can’t get any sleep because of the congestion and pressure in my head. I was told to drink water and rest. How do I rest with insomnia? Also, If I lie in bed too long, my back starts killing me. I really hope I get better soon because I can’t even taste any food. :angry:

I was upset that I had to cancel my therapy appointment today, but I just couldn’t go because I’m sick. There are so many things I need to talk about and work through, I hope I’ll be able to get another appointment at a later date.

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Happy New Year

Edit: I’m no longer updating/using my other blogs hosted on Tumblr. I forgot my login information so I’m unable to delete them. This will be the only blog I will have.

I know I’m a bit late, but I hope this year is better because 2015 was by far my worst year ever. Unfortunately, things from 2015 are still lingering into the new year, like the legal stuff. My next court date is February 2nd. I’m pretty nervous about it. I’m still having issues with my apartment, I wish the exterminator could get rid of these damn rats! I hate them! He’s coming on Tuesday (he comes every Tuesday). Maintenance came a few days ago in search of access points (holes) to see how they’re getting in, and they said probably from behind the stove. So they pulled the stove out and patched some holes behind there. Still didn’t help. Everybody is stumped, they don’t know how they’re getting in.

I was also pretty upset when I logged into my bank account a few days ago to see unauthorized charges. Someone got my debit card information and made 3 donations to some charity in Pakistan. They were only for $0.99, but still. I wasn’t able to dispute the charges yet because they were still pending on my bank’s end. They closed the card and I have a new one coming, which is going to take at least a week.

Anyway, as you can see, I put up a new theme. Finally! It’s pretty simple but I like it.

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It’s been awhile

I haven’t been blogging because of legal issues that have been going on that I can’t talk about publicly. All I can say is, it’s not good. I was hoping it would all be resolved by the new year but that isn’t going to happen. Once it’s all said and done I will write about it.

I’ve been having issues with my apartment again, I have a rat problem that they can’t seem to get rid of. An exterminator comes every week to check/set traps but there is still a problem. I was offered to move to a different apartment, but I don’t have anyone to help me move. I really don’t know what I should do.

I’m also going to a new mental health clinic and now have a case manager. I really don’t like either, my case manager is too hard to get ahold of and never calls me back. The doctor I was seeing was honestly a huge bitch and I said I can’t deal with her anymore, I want a new doctor. I had to have my appointments with her over Skype which I’ve never done before. She would talk down to me like I was a child, kept bugging me about pregnancy for some reason, yelled at me for stopping medication that she told me to stop, and told me side effects from one medication were “in my head”. The new doctor is much better and he actually listened to me.

That’s about all that’s going on right now.

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Update on my mental health

Things seem to be going better than usual, I think the increase in anti-depressant is helping, as well as the increase in anti-psychotic. I did have an episode of paranoia and scared feelings the other night, but all seems ok now. Unfortunately, my financial situation has taken a turn for the worse, but that’s for another private entry.

I did update my other blogs finally. Sometimes they’re hard to keep up with. I’m just taking one day at a time.

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