Therapy has been going ok, but trying to get my other worker to do what she’s supposed to is really difficult. She’s supposed to be helping me find an apartment because I’m having a hard time doing it myself. The first time she was supposed to take me she said something was wrong with her laptop and the car didn’t get reserved. The second time I tried to call her and got a message that I was blocked. She called me from her personal phone to tell me that her work phone and laptop were stolen out of her car and she should have new ones soon. Why would you keep electronics in a car to begin with? Today she completely blew me off and didn’t show up and didn’t call. I understand that things happen but this is the third time I’ve been canceled on. I may have to contact the person in charge of the program and request someone else because nothing is getting accomplished here. I’m just getting really irritated.
I also missed my psychiatrist appointment because my case manager was out for a week. I wish I never got arrested and lost my car and license because what a pain it is to get anywhere and get anything done. :grr:
Tags : Rant
I met with my new therapist today, he seems nice. Hopefully, he will be better than the last one. The last one kept making inappropriate comments that made me feel uneasy and I had to stop going. What’s even better is that he comes to my apartment instead of me having to run to an office. Today was just going over goals and updating my service plan. He said he wants to meet with me once a week which is great. The other places I have gone were only able to offer me a half hour of therapy once a month because of their caseload. I also have someone else helping me find another apartment. We found a couple of places to go look at. I’ve looked up a lot of places online and she has too. The reviews are pretty bad but I guess I’ll have to go see for myself.
AOL announced that they would be discontinuing AIM. I remember using AIM to keep in contact with classmates, friends, people from other countries. I would use song lyrics for away messages and tried to have the coolest buddy icon and profile. I had AOL dial-up before that and so did everyone else at school. There weren’t any social media at that time so everyone tried to have the coolest screen name and profile with different colors and styles. The chat rooms were entertaining too. I would get instant messages from guys asking ASL or if I wanted to cyber. Those were the days.
Today I met with a lady from mental health services and she is going to help me find another apartment. She already had a place in mind but didn’t remember the name of it. I told her everything that has been going on during the past 5 years I’ve lived here. I also told her that all the problems (mainly with the pests) have made my depression a lot worse and that I need to move for my own well-being. I moved to a different unit last year in this complex because the pest problems were bad in the original unit I lived in. I thought things would be better in the new unit, but they aren’t. Obviously, most of this place is infested.
I meet with her again next Friday and she said she’ll have a list of places and we can go look at them. My lease isn’t up until the end of January, I’ll see if I can get out of it early but I might not be able to. If worst comes to worst I’ll have to stay until then. I renewed for a 6 month lease in August, not knowing the pest problem would get even worse. People around here don’t treat me very well either. I’m glad I didn’t sign a year lease. I’m also going to do in-home counseling. Now that I’ve gotten some help, I feel a bit more hopeful that I can get out of here and start feeling better. I won’t if I continue to stay. It’s time to move on to better things.
I saw my psychiatrist today and he prescribed a medication that’s used to treat Bipolar. I don’t know if I’m Bipolar or not but I keep struggling with mood problems and depression. I’m also on other medication to help with mood. Most of it is situational. Since I haven’t heard from the navigator who was going to help me find another place, I’ll have to try to get in touch with the lady who did the intake.
That person who stole my card information last month is still causing trouble. They tried making a purchase from iTunes, and I got an email saying an order is ready for pickup at a Toys R Us in Indiana. The old card was closed and has been closed for over a month but they are still trying to use it. I called the bank and Toys R Us and neither were of any help. I wish this person would get caught but that probably won’t happen. Since all that happened, my email spam folder has been filling up with thousands of porn emails. That wasn’t happening before so it wouldn’t surprise me if that person signed me up for all of that. :wornout: There are some really messed up people out there.
I’m 34 today. I’m starting to feel old. I don’t really have any plans today but I’ll probably be drinking. I found a small round birthday cake at the grocery store bakery marked down to $4.99, so I bought it. My mom got me a Yankee candle (I love those) and some other little things. I’ve said this before, birthdays aren’t really a big deal anymore the older I get. I’ve been under a lot of stress because of my current living situation, but today I’m going to try not to stress too much. :grr:
I miss birthdays when I was a kid, spending them with all the family and especially my grandparents. They spoiled me and I loved it. My grandparents died, so birthdays and holidays aren’t the same. I have some old pictures of me with my grandmother on my birthday. Here are some pictures of me with my grandmother on my 2nd and 5th birthday:
Tags : Birthday
I’ve been really mad that my apartment is now infested with cockroaches. I went off a bit on office staff about how tired I am of pest problems. The last unit I lived in here was infested with rats and bedbugs, pest control was having a hard time getting rid of them so I moved to another unit (the one I’m in now). I started seeing a cockroach here and there a week after I moved in here. Pest control has been coming regularly to spray but that isn’t working anymore because the problem has gotten worse. Neighbors had them and never said anything, now most of them have moved out which caused the cockroaches to move in here. I’m now having to spend all this time doing all the prep work for a more intensive treatment. They did this intensive treatment several months ago to all the units and thought that would be the end of it but that is not the case. Everything has to be ready by Wednesday. I got a lot done today. It also doesn’t sound like they want to treat these vacant units until they’re done being remodeled. This could take weeks/months for them to finish them. I doubt that the problem will go away unless they do the treatment in mine and the others the same day.
The lease is up at the end of January and they require 60 days notice if I’m moving. That means I would have to find another place by November. My mental health clinic offers a lot of services, so my case manager is referring me to someone who can help me find another place. They help you find and go look at apartments. I haven’t had a lot of luck looking online, I found one place that might work but I’ll have to see if this person might have other ideas. 5 years at this ridiculous place is plenty. My mental health has gotten worse because there is just problem after problem. I know cockroaches are a common problem in Arizona, but if management would stop making excuses for not checking other units it wouldn’t be getting to this point.
Tags : Rant
I’ve written about this before, but I had this “friend” who would constantly piss me off with her crappy behavior. She may see this, but oh well who cares.
I met her at my apartment complex a few years ago. This “friendship” was never really right to begin with. I kept telling her the truth but she made it out to always be my fault for not “understanding” or whatever. I understand just fine. It was always a one sided friendship. When I lived on the other side of the complex, she would harass me constantly for cigarettes. She said her boyfriend takes all her money and she can’t buy her own. She uses people. If they have something she wants (cigarettes, a place to live, pot, etc) she’ll always be around. I would always be the one to reach out to talk or hang out but she wouldn’t unless she wanted something. She came over to visit this past Sunday, and the only reason she did that was that she wanted me to go to the store for her. She gave me the money, but still. Her health is bad so she can’t really walk. Staying in bed all the time and abusing pills really isn’t helping the situation (been there done that, it doesn’t help anything at all). She also has no manners and is very rude. Of course, if I bring this up I get yelled at and it’s my fault somehow again. When she was over, she wouldn’t stop texting and talking on the phone. The right thing to do would have been to tell them she’s busy and would talk later. She says she has her own stuff going on and I’m apparently wrong for wanting to actually talk and spend time with her. There’s always some excuse.
I would stupidly forgive her time and time again, probably because I’m not good at socializing and making friends. I can’t let this continue. Even my mom doesn’t like her because of this behavior. Whenever I point out this behavior, I’m the bad guy. I can’t win. I just need to move on with my life. None of this is ever going to change because she doesn’t see an issue with her actions. It’s always my fault. No more.
I plan on moving out of here in the near future, but her lease is up before mine.
Tags : Rant
I didn’t want to post this publicly for a couple reasons. The first reason is that I don’t want people involved to find this post (not that they will, but I think it’s a good idea keeping it locked). The second reason being something that happened at my apartment complex where people could find out where I live.
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Tags : Members only
Earlier this week someone got ahold of my debit card information and there was an unauthorized charge for $0.56 for a medical place in another state. I called the bank right away and they canceled the card and was sending me a new one. They said it would take 7-10 business days to receive it. I told them I couldn’t wait that long because some bills were due. I just received the new card today because they sent it express so I’d get it sooner. The unauthorized charge didn’t go through so I didn’t have to dispute it. Whoever got my information tried to make hundreds of dollars in purchases in the middle of the night last night, and they were all declined because the card was canceled.
This has happened several times in the past, unfortunately. People must be getting the card numbers from a website or from a store. I only use my card online on legitimate websites. I don’t know what else I can do to try to prevent this, but I suppose if someone really wants the information they’ll find a way to get it anyway.
Tags : Rant
Yesterday I saw the GI doctor and he wanted me to have a colonoscopy done. He asked if I had anyone who could be with me and go home with me because they would have to put me to sleep. I don’t have anyone, so he didn’t schedule the procedure because he said it would be a liability issue if I went home alone. I also can’t do it because I can’t have any food for a day, only liquids. I have low blood sugar and have to eat several times a day. Liquids are not going to keep my blood sugar up and I will get sick. I also can’t take any of my medications which are also a huge problem. My mental health has been bad, and I really don’t think this is something I can do. I also have past trauma of being put to sleep. When I had my tonsils removed as a kid, I ended up in a psychiatric hospital afterward for a month. The doctor said that they would also want to put me to sleep to stick a scope down my throat and into my stomach. My case manager even said if I am not mentally stable enough for something like this, then don’t do it. The doctor also mentioned ultrasounds and bloodwork. Those might be my only other options. I feel like the doctor doesn’t understand that this is not good for my mental health. I’ll just have to tell them that I can’t do this because of my mental health.