It’s hard to find good friends these days

I recently had to end a friendship with someone because I got so sick of her excuses. She would always plan things with me then cancel them, every time. I tried being patient with her, but I just couldn’t deal with it anymore. I feel kinda bad about the whole thing, but I couldn’t even trust her. Time to move on, things changed too much since she moved.

Happy birthday to me

I can’t believe I’m 30 already, time sure flies. I feel like it just hasn’t sunk in yet that I’m no longer in my 20’s. I didn’t have an exciting birthday, just had some cake. My birthday card still hasn’t arrived yet which was disappointing. My parents always send me something. Hopefully I’ll get it soon. <:-P

I should have seen this coming

I met a guy online and thought we hit it off, and set up to meet next weekend. Today I get a text message from him bailing on me. I feel kind of mad for being led on for so long, he said we can be just friends (they always say that) but I was hoping it would lead to more. I deserve better. I’ve never had any good luck with guys. I hope someday I can find a guy who won’t bail on me and be honest with me.

The reason I haven’t been writing

My depression unfortunately has gotten worse. I’ve always struggled with depression, but it seems after the accident I got into (don’t want to get into too many details, I bumped into someone on a scooter because I didn’t see him). I’ve never been in an accident before and I guess the whole thing shook me up even though it wasn’t a bad accident. I have a new doctor now, and he switched my medication in hopes that it will make me feel better. That stuff takes awhile to get into my system and start working, so we’ll see.

I think part of it also has to do with being so far away from my family, I really miss them. I don’t know, maybe at some point I’ll have to move back to Pennsylvania even though I hated it there. I hope it doesn’t come to that. It’s hard to care about things (like this site) because of how lousy I’ve been feeling. Depression is just a rough thing to go through especially if it’s severe. All the weight I’ve gained hasn’t helped either, I just hope I start feeling better at some point.

This is driving me nuts

It’s been really hot lately, around 90 degrees. They decided at the last minute to replace air conditioning units at my apartment complex. They’ve been doing construction work for about a month (which is annoying itself too) and according to the manager, the air conditioning won’t be on until a week from tomorrow. I’m so tired of this hot apartment I could scream. I have several fans going but it doesn’t help much. I did renew my lease but am wondering if I should have or not, there always seems to be something going wrong around here. It’s too hot to not have air conditioning, I have no clue what they were thinking waiting until the last minute to do all this.

Some of the staff live here themselves so it’s nice to know that they have to suffer too. :))

Another eBay nightmare

I’m reluctant to sell anything on there again. I sent a brand new with tags book/Bible cover to the buyer. She claimed it had ink stains all over it which wasn’t true. It certainly wasn’t like that when I shipped it. She also sent me a picture of said stains and it doesn’t even look like the item I sent her. So she opened a case against me because she didn’t like my policy of buyer paying return shipping. I’m in the middle of writing and essay and couldn’t deal with this woman anymore so I just refunded her. Then she left me a negative stating I didn’t refund her shipping costs which I did. All this drama over a $6 item.

Am I really being that unreasonable?

Lately any guy I meet online is always pushy to meet right away, and aren’t understanding of me needing time to get to know them better first. I also have an anxiety/panic disorder which may have something to do with it. In my opinion, talking to someone for only a few weeks and them wanting to meet is a bit soon. I’ve heard so many stories of women being hurt or killed from meeting guys online. I’m just trying to be safe and I want to feel comfortable. Insulting me will make me not even want to meet also. Telling me they are a “nice guy” doesn’t mean anything either. Is this really that unreasonable, or are they just upset that I’m not giving into their demands? I think it’s the latter.

I really miss my mom

I’ve been really missing my mom, I talk to her on the phone a lot and occasionally we e-mail, and maybe video chat once in a blue moon. It’s not the same as seeing her in person. It’s hard for me that she’s on the other side of the country. I wish she was able to fly out and see me, but she doesn’t know when she can. I’ve felt like I’ve really needed her especially during the hard times I’m going through. She is the most important person in my life and it’s hard. I know making the decision to stay here was the right one for me, but I just wish she could visit. She said spring or fall, seems like a long time to wait.

I did it!

I passed my JavaScript class with an A. That was really a challenging class but I did pretty well! I’m currently in my last class, which is called Positive Psychology, and I’m already overwhelmed by the amount of homework. I don’t understand how writing massive papers each week is really much of an education, but maybe that’s me. There could be more variety, like tests or something. Word count is also the most important thing, when in my opinion, the content of the paper should be more important. My instructor seems like he’ll be a tough grader so we’ll see how this class goes.

I’ve been really sick lately, I’m not sure if it’s a really bad cold or the flu. Either way I hope I feel better soon. I went and saw Every Time I Die on the 18th, it was a good show. When the first band was playing someone already got arrested, not sure what for. I actually enjoy going to shows alone, the last one I went to I barely remembered because I was so focused on the person I was there with. All in all it was fun.

What a day


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Selling on eBay can be annoying sometimes

I’ve been selling stuff off and on for years now, and recently I got a huge PITA buyer. I was selling my old phone, and the person who bought it didn’t really read the auction very well or not at all because she kept messaging me with all these questions. She was telling me she couldn’t activate the phone so I gave her suggestions. She finally admitted to me that she bought the phone for a carrier the phone wasn’t intended for. I don’t know much about unlocking phones since I buy directly from my wireless carrier (Verizon). She just kept messaging me about it even though I gave her all the information I could and was wondering why she even bothered to buy it. She kept telling me she couldn’t use it because she couldn’t get it activated, so I told her to send it back for a refund. So here I am waiting around for the phone to arrive and it never does. She e-mails me a week or two later to say she was sick and then decided she wants to keep the phone. I hope she doesn’t message me again, because I’m honestly getting tired of her, lol. It wouldn’t surprise me if she comes back with a message wanting to return it again. I ended up adding her to my blocked bidder list because I don’t want her buying from me again.

I wish she would have asked her questions in one e-mail prior to bidding on the phone so my inbox wouldn’t be full of messages. I just didn’t know what she expected me to do other than offer a refund upon return of the item because there was nothing wrong with the phone and it was all user error.

Getting better

For the past several weeks, I’ve felt like absolute crap, but I’ve mostly accepted the breakup (this will be the last post about it, I swear :)) ) I realized there was more bad than good and it’s time to move on finally. The fact that my doctor switched/increased some of my medications have helped also.

I’m also looking forward to being closer to finishing my JavaScript class, one week left. Hopefully I can pull through and move on my last class. If everything goes well, I should graduate in April. It’s been a long hard road but I think I can do it.

Dear Aaron


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New phone and Windows 8

I had an all touch screen phone for almost two years now, and it was becoming unresponsive and I even had trouble making calls. I figured it was time for an upgrade, so I got the Droid 4. I really like having a keyboard phone again, I’ve always struggled to type on touch screens for some reason. I have a feeling keyboard phones are going to be non-existent soon, so that’s why I wanted to get one while I can. I understand the all touch screen thing is most popular, but some people have trouble with them like me. I’m really liking my new phone and texting is no longer a headache.

I also upgraded to Windows 8, I got a really great deal from my student store, I only had to pay $25 for it. I don’t think it’s anything spectacular, and find it more difficult to access my stuff, but I’ll get used to it. I’m glad I didn’t spend much because honestly I was expecting more. If you’re thinking of upgrading, I’d recommend that you don’t unless you get it really cheap, but that’s just me.

What a mistake

Getting back together with my ex was a big mistake. He told me he’d changed, and he hadn’t. It was back to the same old stuff: lies, no communication, and more lies. I just kicked him out of my apartment because I said I can’t do this anymore and I deserve to be with someone who will treat me better. I don’t think I can even be friends with someone like that, I’m just done. Surprisingly I don’t feel that hurt about it, mostly just mad at myself for falling for his lies again.

Hopefully someday I’ll find the right guy, but I now know for certain he’s not the right guy.

Maybe there’s some hope after all

The assignment in my JavaScript class I was stressing about I ended up getting an A on. I’m not sure I pulled that one off, but maybe I’m getting the hang of this JavaScript stuff. My grade went from a C to a B-. I’m really trying, and am hoping I can keep my grade up so I can pass this class because I’m close to graduating. I’m enjoying my holiday break, I don’t have to go back to school until the 6th, but a part of me kind of misses it. The break was really needed though because I was so stressed.

My last class I chose will be another psychology class. I took one in my first year and got an A, so I figured it would be a good choice. I can’t wait to be done with IT classes. I didn’t know this web design degree was so focused on coding, I wish I would have taken graphic design instead because I find that more enjoyable.

I’m also looking forward to the new year, 2012 has not been good to me (dropped/failed classes, financial troubles, mental health issues) and am hoping better things are to come. My New Year’s resolution is to quit smoking, I really need to for my health and financial situation. I know I can do it, it’s just going to be hard.

Side note: Check out my site’s Facebook page if you haven’t already. ;;)

Merry Christmas!

This is the first year I’ve been without my family during the holidays and it has been tough. I opened gifts via video chat with my parents. I really miss them. I wish they could have flown out here or I could have flown out there, but because of lack of money and weather it wasn’t possible. Anyway, I got some cool Bath & Body Works stuff and the cutest stuffed penguin from my mom.

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It made me smile.

Apparently I will be video chatting again but also with my brother, sister in law, and nephews when they will be over at my parent’s house tomorrow.

It’s definitely not the same as seeing them in person. I hope everyone else has a better holiday than I’m having at least.