Monday will be here before I know it, and there’s still a lot to do. I’m still not done packing, I’m waiting for my case manager to bring over more boxes because I’ve filled all the ones I have. There are so many boxes I can barely walk in here. I was given the okay from the manager to move. The exterminator came Monday and did another treatment. He didn’t find any more bugs. I needed to start the process of having my mail forwarded and internet transferred. I wish I could have done that sooner, but I had to wait until I was told there were no more bugs before I was officially able to move. I have to turn in my keys to this place on the 19th, so after I move, I will have to come back over here to clean. I’m having too much trouble cleaning with so much stuff everywhere. I don’t know if I’ll be able to get done in time. To me it doesn’t make much sense to do all this cleaning when they’re going to be tearing this place apart when I move out. The manager said I needed to make sure that the appliances were at least clean. There are a lot of things that I won’t be able to get clean (rust, hard water stains), and will have to be replaced. I already told her about that and she said it was fine. I wouldn’t be surprised though if I get a bill for cleaning. My security deposit was only $100 so that isn’t going to cover much. I just have to do what I can and hope for the best.
I know I just blogged, but I thought this was an important thing to write about (for me). It’s officially been a year since my arrest. It happened one year ago today. For the backstory on everything that happened, go here.
I was discussing this with my therapist yesterday, and I told her that the whole ordeal haunts me to this day. She told me I can’t keep focusing on the past and there’s nothing I can do to change it. Yes, that’s true, but that had to be one of the absolute worst days of my life. It’s hard not to think about it. My mom told me I shouldn’t even be worried about it. My issue with it is the fact that it will show up when someone does a background check. This could make certain things difficult, like getting another apartment. A landlord might see the charge and not allow me to move there. It won’t affect me moving to the new apartment here, but I don’t plan on staying in this particular complex longer than a year.
Anyway, I at least learned my lesson and haven’t gotten in trouble again so that’s a positive side to it.
Today I found out from my case manager that my housing assistance fell through. The place that was offering it changed their criteria and I no longer meet it so I was taken off the list. Basically they are now only concerned with providing housing for people who are homeless. She did tell me that the city of Phoenix is opening up their wait list for the first time in 11 years and it would be in my best interest to apply. That could really be my only option. She said someone at the clinic will be coming in in September to help all the people who got kicked off the housing wait list to help them find other options. If I end up getting the housing in Phoenix, I’ll have to move there. I’m in a different city, so I will probably only be able to stay here (but in the new apartment) for another year and I’ll have to relocate.
I was also told by the apartment manager that the apartment I was going to be moving into was completely destroyed by the previous tenants and that there is no way it would be ready by the 15th. I will be moving to a different one. This one is all ready to move into, I already looked at it today. There are just a few things that were missed that need to be fixed. I also found out that I have to have another bed bug treatment on Monday. I have to make sure everything is ready for that. I’m really not crazy about the particular building I’m moving to, but it’s my only option unless I want to wait longer.
It’s monsoon season here, and I never like it when it happens. Too much rain preventing me from going to the store or doing my laundry. A lot of people here love it, but when I lived in Pennsylvania, it was always snowing or raining and I was always stuck inside. Here I’m outside a lot except for when the monsoons hit. Yesterday I had a doctor appointment and really needed to go to the pharmacy afterwards, but a storm hit and there was a lot of flooding. I waited until it finally stopped raining to go, and I lost one of my shoes in the flooded street. It was like a river in the street and the shoe got carried away to the middle of a busy intersection so I couldn’t get it. I felt so stupid walking into Walgreens with only 1 shoe on. I also realized that I left my debit card at home, but luckily I had enough cash on me to get the prescriptions. I wanted to buy a pair of flip flops so I’d have something to wear on the walk home, but I didn’t have enough cash left to buy them. I had to walk all the way home with only 1 shoe. Earlier that day, the cab never showed up to take me to my doctor appointment so my case manager had to come get me, I was late to the appointment but at least he was willing to still see me because it wasn’t my fault.
I’m still really stressed and overwhelmed from having to spend 2 straight weeks prepping for that bedbug treatment, and I’m feeling the pressure of maybe not getting all the cleaning done in time. For one, I can’t even find my cleaning supplies. Literally everything had to be thrown in boxes quickly to be ready for the treatment. I’ve gone through most of them and still can’t find what I need. I’m trying to look at the positive that I’ll be out of this awful apartment in 12 days, but it’s hard. I was then told by my case manager that the housing I applied for I may not even qualify for anymore. She won’t have any more information on that until Friday. The city of Phoenix is opening up the housing list for applications on Monday and she told me I should apply. Unfortunately, the apartment I’m moving to is not in Phoenix, so I may have to move AGAIN. I wish they would have opened that list a long time ago.
Finally put up a new theme and added/updated widgets. I was really frustrated last night trying to get it up because all my websites suddenly went down and I wasn’t able to. I will probably be switching hosts, but I already paid for this month. With getting ready to move, I don’t really have time to move everything to a different host. I have a lot of cleaning I have to get done before I move. This whole move is really stressing me out, I can’t wait until it’s all over. It’s hard to get things done with illnesses getting in the way.
Really short blog because I don’t have much else to say.
The exterminator came and fogged the apartment today. Unfortunately, he found a live bedbug on the bed. That was the only one he found. He has to come back in 2 weeks to check on things. He didn’t think there was really an issue. So far the move is still on, if something happens, the manager will let me know at least a week in advance in case I need to reschedule with the moving company.
I guess all I can do is pray and hope I can still move as scheduled. I had them really bad last year, and this is nothing like that. If I can’t move on time, then there’s really nothing I can do even though it would be a big letdown because I really want to get out of there.
I just had to throw out all my Christmas decorations because it was all destroyed by the rats. Some of that stuff was sentimental and can’t be replaced. There has also been damage to furniture and cords to electronics. The apartment manager says they are not responsible for any of the damage. How are they not responsible? They failed to hire a decent exterminator to take care of the problem, so I’m having to move to get away from these rats. It’s their building, not mine. Renter’s insurance also doesn’t cover damage by rodents. They recently fired the exterminator who was coming every week about the rats. He wasn’t able to do anything more that he had already done anyway.
None of this has been fair to me. I’ve been complaining for a long time about these issues and was told my only option was to move.
The apartment manager here is requiring I have a bed bug treatment before I move. I have been seeing them in odd places and she thinks they’re coming from another apartment, so the apartments around me are being inspected on Monday. She gave me until the 25th to get my apartment prepped for treatment. They fired the guy who was handling my apartment, he doesn’t require all the prep work, but the other company does. Everything has to be removed from closets, cupboards, drawers, absolutely everything has to be removed from the kitchen, curtains taken down, etc. I decided to just start packing since I’m moving on August 15th. I’m trying to get it all done in time, and it’s stressful.
On an unrelated note, I had to report a cable technician to the cable company yesterday. A technician was working in another apartment, and when he’d see me outside, he’d keep waving. I basically ignored it, and was hauling things out to the trash. He then walked over to me, introduced himself, and asked where I was going, then asked if I was married. I just started unlocking my door to go back in and he asks, “what, you don’t want to talk?”. I found all this highly inappropriate. He made me really uncomfortable. I thought he was really out of line for working at someone else’s apartment and then coming over to bother another tenant (me) with personal questions that were none of his business. I heard back from the cable company this morning and they’re going to take care of it. Who knows how many women he has acted this way towards.
I’ve been having issues with my case manager (previous) for months, and I just got a new one. To read about all the case manager woes, visit sometimes.blue. She is actually helpful and responsive, unlike the other one. The old one would schedule transportation to appointments in the middle of the night instead of the afternoon because he couldn’t be bothered to check. I got tired of getting woke up because of it. He had also told me that I was on a housing list as of last year. I find out today from my new case manager that this wasn’t true. I was really upset. I now have to wait at least a year on the list. My new case manager brought over some boxes to pack to move to the new apartment. I also asked about assistance with moving, and was told I need to try to find other resources first. I have to call at least 6 different places to see if they will help. I have to document who I’ve called and what they said, and if they all say no, then I can fill out an application for moving services. I’m going to feel like such an idiot doing that. I think it’s stupid they’re making me do that. I have to do what I have to do, I guess.
An exterminator is coming on Monday to do an inspection, I can’t wait for this to be over. I found out that the lady next door’s apartment is not acceptable to management and she has to rectify it immediately. I found out that she has had a roach problem all this time and never reported it as she was required to per the lease. That might be contributing to the problems I’m having with pests, although I don’t have roaches. I have lived here for 4 years, 3 years was fine until all these new people moved in around me this past year. I’ve had nothing but problems since then. I just have to hang in there until I can get moved.
I’m moving next month, to a different apartment, same place. I’m feeling really overwhelmed and am not even prepared yet. I don’t see the point in packing yet, because I don’t want boxes just sitting around for a month and a half. There will be a lot of cleaning that has to be done as well. It will also be nice to get away from this rodent issue and not have an exterminator coming over every week. Neighbors have also been bugging me a lot. They’re starting to come to my door when I don’t want them to. People just don’t understand that because of my autism, I prefer to spend most of my time alone. I also don’t like my routines being interrupted. I put a “do not disturb” sign on my door, hoping that will deter them from coming to the door. I don’t want to be rude, but I don’t go to their doors, so I don’t know why they are coming to mine. The new apartment will be upstairs, so hopefully people will be less likely to go up there to bother me. I discussed this with my therapist, and she told me I need to set boundaries. I just don’t know how to tell people to leave me alone without coming off as rude. I’m not good with confrontation at all. One neighbor who never used to talk to me before, is always talking to me and coming to the door. Yesterday he said he would bring me home some boxes if I would help him carry his drums to the car. I agreed, but regretted it because by the time he wanted them carried out, I was ready to go to bed. I don’t think I was much help because I was falling asleep. I feel bad, but if people want me to help them they need to ask during the day. I go to bed early. I hope he isn’t mad at me because he saw me outside and didn’t say anything. There’s nothing I can do if he is mad though. I can’t please everyone.
Update: Today I received the phone back with a note. That further proved he didn’t know how eBay worked, because any other buyer would have filed a not as described claim, and then eBay would make me pay return shipping. That’s why I just refunded him, because it would have cost more to pay return shipping as well as the refund. I’m not sure why he paid to ship it back, the speaker doesn’t in fact work as it should (which I didn’t know that it didn’t) so I can’t use or resell it. Strangest buyer I’ve ever dealt with.
Someone bought a phone from me last week, I shipped it out, he received it, then 2 days later he sent an e-mail claiming that the internal speaker didn’t work. I had no way to verify that this was true, but he sent another e-mail threatening to take it up with eBay. What I find odd about this whole thing is that he was sending e-mails to my personal e-mail, when he should have been sending messages through eBay. I don’t know if he was just someone who didn’t understand how eBay works, or what. I ended up just refunding his money because it would have cost more for me to pay the return shipping in addition to the refund. So now he has the money paid back, as well as the item. So honestly, I was the one who got screwed here. The e-mails made me feel uneasy, so I blocked him because I want no further communication in this way. If he has something he wants to say, he should do it via eBay. Something just didn’t feel right about the whole thing. I noticed that he really had no account activity for a year. It really seems like he wanted to contact me without eBay being able to see. No buyer has ever contacted me outside of eBay. he also didn’t seem to understand that I was in a different time zone, and was just overall really impatient. If I had a problem with something I bought on eBay, I wouldn’t continue to e-mail and would give the seller a decent amount of time to resolve it, because people have other things going on in life besides eBay.
I have ended all my other listings and am done. I will now just use the account to buy if I choose to.
Here’s yet another story about a teen committing suicide because of bullying. This makes me sad and angry at the same time. From grades 5-12, I was bullied daily. I just didn’t fit in and people thought I was “weird”. I even ended up in the hospital for wanting to commit suicide. I also got bullied because my parents couldn’t afford designer clothes and shoes. Some may not agree, but I think all schools should have uniforms to prevent that from happening. What’s worse, is that bullying is so bad it’s making teens take their own lives, and schools won’t do a thing about it. When I reported the bullying to school officials, it made them bully me even more for “tattling”.
A few years after I graduated high school, the school decided to offer classes online. I really wish they had that option while I was there, that would have been a much better option for me. I would also miss a lot of school because of my anxiety (the school was so huge it had two separate buildings) and fear of how I would be treated. I was lucky I was able to graduate with as much school as I missed.
Luckily none of the bullying was physical, but the verbal abuse hurt just as much.
I have a new website, erinscollection.com
It’s my Hello Kitty collection. Check it out.
I wish that incident never happened last year. It really ruined my life. Now I no longer have a car and can’t get my license back. It’s so difficult to get transportation scheduled to get to appointments, I have to walk in 110 degree heat to get groceries and medications, I need moving boxes but have no idea how to get to a place to get them or how to even get them home.
I don’t want to use Uber because they could end up charging whatever they wanted to my card (I’ve seen articles on this). At least cabs take cash, that’s how I prefer to pay so that there are no surprises later, but it’s costly.
I’m always stuck at home because I can’t get anywhere. Buses are a panic attack waiting to happen. I wish there was a cheaper way to get around without taking a bus.
I really can’t deal with this rat problem anymore. There’s obviously an infestation. The exterminator setting traps is not fixing the problem. It has to be determined how they are getting in and that entrance sealed off. I really don’t think anyone has been making enough effort to get rid of them. I can’t move until August. They can’t keep ignoring the problem or doing very little about it because nobody else is going to want to move into this apartment after me with this problem. I’ve lived here for 4 years, and the past year I have had nothing but problems with rats and other pests. It’s the type of people moving in around me. The problem started next door, but because she has a cat, they’re all over here now. Nobody should be stuck in an apartment and have to live with something like this, it is a health hazard. I have a feeling time is going to go by really slow, August seems so far away.
On a previous post, I mentioned problems with a buyer leaving unfair negative feedback. A member of a Facebook eBay group told me to call eBay and they should remove the feedback. So I called eBay, they looked at the messages and my listing. The listing clearly stated that shipping was UPS only and they saw that he demanded me to ship via USPS because he had a PO box. He knew UPS couldn’t deliver to a PO box but bid anyway. eBay sided with me and removed the feedback he left. I’m glad I was able to get that removed, because that was ridiculous.
I get tired of having to explain myself to people. Most people I encounter think I’m just being “shy”. I also don’t know why these people practically force me to talk to them. 85% of the time, I want to be left alone. You’d think that would be obvious? I’d think that more people would be aware of autism by now, but apparently not. When I was forced to do that substance abuse treatment by the judge, none of the people there understood even though I explained it at least 20 times. Neighbors are always trying to get me to talk to them. One guy in particular is nice and everything, but he seems to get upset when I don’t say hi to him. I don’t even think to say hi to people, I keep to myself. Socializing isn’t something I really think about. I just like to go about my day doing what I need to do, and feel like these people just keep “interrupting”. I shouldn’t even have to explain myself, but people won’t let it go and I feel forced into talking to them.
My advice is if you see someone who is by themselves or seem absorbed in what they’re doing, think about the fact that they may have autism. If they don’t seem like they want to talk, don’t force it. If they want to talk, they will. It should be voluntary.
Yesterday, I had a talk with the manager about transferring to a different apartment. I will be moving to a different building in August. I can’t move sooner because I was only given 2 apartments to choose from. There is a couple living in the apartment I’m moving to, and they won’t be moving out until the end of July. I just can’t deal with the rodents anymore. I’m also tired of the exterminator coming every week. Every Tuesday, I have to stay home and wait for him to show up. There are other things I need to be doing than waiting around. When I move to the new apartment, hopefully I won’t have to deal with rodents or an exterminator coming over all the time. It’s going to be a lot of work to move, but the rodents are forcing me out. I just want to live normally without having to think of keeping everything put away or hidden so they don’t get chewed up or eaten. I hope they’ll be tearing up the kitchen to find out the source of the problem so whoever moves in here after me doesn’t have to deal with it.
On an unrelated note, I have made changes to the hosting page. I’m still offering free hosting, but I have added paid options as well.
Last night an auction ended for an item I was selling. The buyer paid and started making demands. He demanded that I ship immediately and through a different carrier than what was listed. I chose UPS because they actually come and pick up packages on time, when USPS does not. The listing stated it would be shipped via UPS, and I couldn’t ship to his PO box. I told him this, that the listing stated ship time and what service, and that I knew that I could not ship to his PO box via UPS as stated in the listing. I cancelled the order and refunded him. He seemed really mad and left me negative feedback claiming there was no communication (there was). I offered free shipping, so I was the one who would have had to pay for it, not him. If he didn’t agree to the shipping, or knew it was being shipped via UPS that I wouldn’t be able to ship to a PO box, he should not have bid. There was an option on eBay to report him for telling me to ship other than what was on the listing, so I did. I doubt anything will come of it, but my 100% positive feedback took a dive because he didn’t read the listing.
I ended up giving the next highest bidder a second chance offer, and he bought it. I really hope this guy doesn’t cause any problems, but with eBay and unreasonable buyers, who knows.
Unfortunately, the issues just keep going on. The rats will not go away, and there’s a bed bug situation in the area. The neighbors are doing things they shouldn’t be doing (dumpster diving) and aren’t learning. Unfortunately, they have to be caught doing it before anything can be done about it. The exterminator determined that they’re coming from upstairs. I saw the people upstairs haul a mattress out a few months ago. That does not get rid of bed bugs. They should have reported them right away, as it states in the lease. The exterminator is doing an inspection of their apartment as well as 2 others around me.
There’s an apartment in a certain building that I’m interested in, but someone is living there right now and they won’t be moving out until the end of July. After they move out, the apartment will have to be cleaned and painted. I have to go to the office on Monday to sign the paperwork. It sucks that the rent will be going up by $60 a month, but there’s no way out of that. I still have to wait until I’m next on the list for subsidized housing and that could take years. I didn’t want to move right away because I need time to figure out how and where I’m going to get enough boxes to pack everything. I really don’t want to go to all the trouble of moving, but I don’t want the rats to destroy any more of my furniture. I think once I get out of this particular apartment and away from all these issues, I’ll start feeling better.