Everything’s getting expensive

I received a lease renewal notice, and it’s going up $100/month. I really don’t want to renew, but I haven’t been able to find anything else that will work. Most of the places I’ve looked up have a lot of break-ins and bed bug problems. The manager is willing to let me sign a 6-month lease instead of a year, so that’s what I’m going to have to do since there’s no time to find anything when I haven’t had luck anyway. My current lease is up July 31st. I also had to get renter’s insurance because it’s now required. During the 6-month lease, I’m going to have to figure something else out because it’s getting too expensive to live here and I’ve experienced way too many problems here the past 5 years (rodent and bug infestations, leaks, water is being shut off for repairs too much, nosey neighbors always trying to pry into my business/cause drama, air conditioning isn’t that great).

I also received an e-mail from the cable company saying they are capping internet usage at 1TB/month and if you go over that, you have to pay more. I don’t use that much, but still. There aren’t really any other options because they have a monopoly in this area. Hopefully, I won’t have to worry about it much.

I’m not good with people and it’s difficult sometimes

I’ve never been good with people because of my autism, and I really don’t like when people put me on the spot or expect me to do things I’m not comfortable doing. There’s this young couple who lives 2 doors down from me and the guy’s mother is staying with them, and the father occasionally comes by and apparently, the son doesn’t want him to. Sometimes when I start to come outside for a cigarette, the father is sitting in my chair (which isn’t a big deal, but he can’t seem to leave me alone). He keeps asking me to do things that I’m not comfortable doing (knocking on his son and girlfriend’s door). I don’t know them and they don’t know me. The son tends to ignore the father’s efforts to contact him because I guess they don’t get along. The father keeps thanking me for doing these things when I don’t do them, I just say yeah ok when I really should say no. I just feel bad because it’s a sad situation all around. I just don’t want to get involved because it’s not my place to act as a mediator between father and son. I’m just going to have to say no and hope he doesn’t get too upset. I’m really not good with people and forced interaction. I just like to keep to myself honestly.

Always seem to be missing out

Today my apartment complex held a pool party with a DJ, food, drinks, and raffles for $100 gift cards. I wish I could have gone, but there were several reasons why I couldn’t. The reasons were this itchy skin condition, the heat, and feeling wiped out because my back flared up this morning. I always miss out on fun stuff. I used to be able to go to a lot of different things (I had a car then and don’t now, so that also makes it hard) when I was in my 20’s, but once I hit my 30’s, my physical and mental health have deteriorated. I miss being able to do a lot of things, it sucks getting older. Whenever I do miss something I wanted to go to, I feel pretty crappy about it for a day or two especially when other people tell me how much fun it was. At the end of the day, I just have to be okay with my decision not to go to some things if it would negatively affect my health.