I recently bought a worry relief journal from modcloth.com that has inspirational quotes and exercises to complete.
I have another journal in addtion to this one. Sometimes it helps for me to write everything out.
It certainly doesn’t feel like Christmas is soon. I used to have a Christmas tree, lights, and other decorations, but the rats in the old apartment chewed it all up. It all had to be thrown away. My mom got me one thing I wanted:
It’s always hard during holidays because nobody can afford plane tickets to see each other. I’ve asked my mom to Skype but she won’t do it, she doesn’t really want anything to do with technology I guess. I ask her every year and it’s always a no. I feel kind of hurt that she doesn’t want to make the effort to video chat with me. I don’t know, I can’t help but feel like she doesn’t really care to see me even if it’s only by video chat. Maybe I’m overreacting.
I saw the doctor yesterday, and I felt like I wasted most of my day. It took awhile for me to be seen. I told her about the pain in my ear, stomach, and back. She looked in my ear and said there’s really nothing wrong and it’s probably a dental issue. She dismissed my back and stomach pain. I made an appointment with the dentist, I’m worried because I don’t have insurance and will need help from family for the costs. It’s like the dentist’s office didn’t believe me either. I guess because I have mental illnesses, people don’t take me seriously. My doctor prescribed me an anti-nausea medication which isn’t really helping. I feel like crap. I have a therapy appointment tomorrow that I really don’t want to cancel because I’ve been waiting for over a month to see him. My psychiatrist said I should have my back x-rayed, but my regular doctor doesn’t seem concerned at all with it. The next time I see him I’ll have to tell him that. I may have to start looking for a new doctor, but I’m afraid the same thing will happen (them not believing me about the pain). At least at the dentist, if they find something it’ll get taken care of.
I had a horrible stomach virus at the beginning of November, now I’m having stomach issues again (but not nearly as bad as before) and either ear or tooth pain. I’m not even due to go to the dentist yet, I first want to see if it’s my ear because many times before when I had pain and went to the dentist, it wasn’t my teeth and ended up being an ear infection. I go to the doctor on Tuesday, I called this past Tuesday so that will be a week. It usually doesn’t take that long to get in, but a lot of people are sick right now because of the weather change.
I was feeling ok enough to go get a haircut today. I wasn’t at all happy with the salon I went to. Apparently, it was one of those quick salons but I didn’t know that. There is only one guy there and he was kind of rude. I was shaking with anxiety because he made me uncomfortable. I brought in a picture of how I wanted it cut and he didn’t take more than 10 minutes and said he was done. I just wanted to get out of there so I just said I liked it so I could pay and leave. I definitely won’t be going back there. If he wasn’t so intimidating I would have had him do more. I was the only person in there and their Facebook page didn’t have many likes, and then I knew why. I will have to go back to the salon I went to before even though it’s more expensive. I’m feeling like crap again now probably because of the anxiety attack I had earlier.