I seem to be having a lot of problems with strange and creepy guys coming up to me who live in the same complex as me. When I lived in the old building, this one neighbor would always bother me by coming to the door, he didn’t seem that bad just seemed like a lonely elderly guy who didn’t really have anyone to talk to. Since I’ve moved over here, I haven’t really seen him which I guess is good. There are a couple other guys who live in another building who would keep stopping me while I was either walking to and from the store or in the store. They keep inviting me over and I would keep declining. I really don’t feel comfortable at all going to anyone’s apartment that I don’t know. They just seem really persistent and don’t seem to get it. I’m going to have to be straightforward with them and say that I’m really not interested and am not willing to come over. Then one time I was at the mailbox getting the mail, and a guy I had never seen or met before started talking to me and knew where I lived before and where I live now. I thought that was really creepy. Because of my autism and anxiety I have trouble when people just approach me like that, sometimes I’m too nice. I’m also afraid to piss them off because I don’t know how they will react or what they might do.
It seems to be getting worse, these same guys just keep approaching me. I wish they would just leave me alone. I can try to just tell them to leave me alone and just walk away. I just don’t understand why they feel the need to pester someone who clearly wants to be left alone.
Today I met with the new therapist who was taking my old therapist’s place. I was only in there for a few minutes and she really upset me, so I walked out. I started talking about what was bothering me, and she ended up just making me feel much worse. It was about something personal, so I won’t write it here. I wasn’t comfortable in her office anyway because it is 90 degrees outside with some humidity and she had a heater on. It just isn’t going to work out, so whenever I can get ahold of my case manager, I’ll have to be referred elsewhere because that’s the only therapist they have. My case manager actually forgot to set up the transportation to this appointment, and another case manager had to pick me up to get me there. Maybe that was a sign I shouldn’t have gone, lol. I don’t click with every therapist I’ve had, so this has happened before. My depression has been difficult this past week, and going in there to be upset really didn’t help anything. She seemed to really lack understanding and wanted to be judgmental when she didn’t even know me. It’s funny though that when I met her for the first time but with my old therapist, she wasn’t like that. I at least made sure transportation was set up for my doctor appointment next Tuesday.
I’m also hesitant to be referred elsewhere because the same thing could happen. I don’t know, maybe I just need time to process that my old therapist is gone and I’ll never see her again. There was only one other time I’ve walked out on a therapist like that, and that was when I was in my early 20’s. That one didn’t believe I had any illnesses and said that to my face, even though the doctor said otherwise. The whole thing just really upset me.
I’m 33 today. It’s just like any other day. When you get older, birthdays aren’t as exciting as they were when you were a kid.
I got an Amazon gift card from my mom (it came in the cupcake tin), a card from her and my dad, and I got the cake that was on sale for $5. I don’t plan on doing a whole lot today, mostly just relaxing.
I have found my new favorite app, it’s called Pacifica. It has so many features: you can keep track of your mood, thoughts, goals, audio activities for relaxation, groups, and communities. It also has a beautiful design. I’ve only been using this app for a day and I love it, I’m going to continue to use it every day. It’s a must have for those who are dealing with stress, anxiety, and depression. It’s available on the App Store and Google Play Store.
This isn’t an advertisement or anything like that, I’m just sharing a great app that I find helpful.