Nothing is going right

Where to start…well, I’m in love with someone I can’t have, my mental illnesses are acting up, still having financial difficulties, and just feel overall pretty terrible. It’s hard to handle all this stuff, it really wears me down.

I’ve been struggling with things since childhood and now in adulthood it’s gotten worse. Since it’s gone on this long, will things ever get better? I often ask myself this. If you’re the praying type, please pray for me or keep me in your thoughts, I’d really appreciate it.

[custom_field field=”mood” post_id=”2437″ limit=”0″ before=”Mood: ” after=”” between=”, ” /]
[custom_field field=”music” post_id=”2437″ limit=”0″ before=”Listening to: ” after=”

” between=”, ” /]

I’m so thankful my friend is ok

She had to be rushed to the hospital during a leg surgery at some clinic because I guess she had a bad seizure or something. I don’t know much about the situation and she doesn’t remember what happened. She said she almost died.

I hadn’t heard from her in days so I was getting worried, so I finally called her and she told me she was in the hospital. So glad she’s ok, I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to her. :cry:

Sorry, short blog.

[custom_field field=”mood” post_id=”2434″ limit=”0″ before=”Mood: ” after=”” between=”, ” /]
[custom_field field=”music” post_id=”2434″ limit=”0″ before=”Listening to: ” after=”

” between=”, ” /]

Posted this on Facebook, so I’m also posting it here

I had a Cockatiel named Sammy for 6 years. A few years ago, I had to give him up for adoption because I was busy with college and was dealing with illnesses. I couldn’t properly care for him and give him the attention he needed. I think about him daily and miss him. I often wonder if I did the right thing. I’ve felt guilty for years.

[custom_field field=”mood” post_id=”2430″ limit=”0″ before=”Mood: ” after=”” between=”, ” /]
[custom_field field=”music” post_id=”2430″ limit=”0″ before=”Listening to: ” after=”

” between=”, ” /]

Went to the doctor on Thursday, he increased meds

I was supposed to go on Monday, but my anxiety was so bad I couldn’t go, so I went on Thursday. My anxiety was so bad up until my appointment but I made it through it. I prefer morning appointments but they can’t seem to get me in in the mornings. I told my doctor about my problems with depression and hallucinations. He increased my anti-depressant and anti-psychotic to the highest possible doses. Hopefully I start feeling better.

Mental illnesses are so tough to deal with, and some people just don’t understand what I go through each day. I’ve been struggling since I was a child with this stuff and it just gets really tiring. :tired:

[custom_field field=”mood” post_id=”2427″ limit=”0″ before=”Mood: ” after=”” between=”, ” /]
[custom_field field=”music” post_id=”2427″ limit=”0″ before=”Listening to: ” after=”

” between=”, ” /]

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter to those who celebrate it. I got Easter candy and am just relaxing because I have a doctor appointment tomorrow which is giving me a lot of anxiety.

0a521271a9f9a88eaabdc980739918f9

hkeaster

[custom_field field=”mood” post_id=”2419″ limit=”0″ before=”Mood: ” after=”” between=”, ” /]
[custom_field field=”music” post_id=”2419″ limit=”0″ before=”Listening to: ” after=”

” between=”, ” /]

Untitled

I’ve been really bad at blogging lately, mostly because of my illnesses acting up. When I feel really unwell I basically just stay in bed or hang out with my friend. I haven’t felt like getting on the computer or anything. I’m feeling a little better now, thankfully. I see my doctor on Monday, and I need to discuss an increase in medication because of excessive paranoia and hearing things. We did talk about an increase last time, hopefully he’ll do it. There was a problem I was having with hearing things (rats, mice) but maintenance came in and inspected my apartment and found nothing, so that tells me the schizophrenia is getting worse. It’s really a hard thing to deal with sometimes. I had to miss The Devil Wears Prada on the 25th because my anxiety and other illnesses were too bad for me to handle being around a lot of people. I wish I could have gone because I really wanted to see them. Sometimes I just can’t handle those types of things when I get to feeling bad.

I’ve also been having trouble with buying on eBay. One person sold me the wrong item and another I never received. I had to contact eBay to see what happens. Some sellers on there you need to watch out for. I didn’t want to pay shipping to send the wrong item back because it wasn’t my fault they screwed up, so I’m out the money and now I have a new clock instead of what I ordered. Oh well.

Nothing much new with me, just been hanging out with my friend a lot.

[custom_field field=”mood” post_id=”2412″ limit=”0″ before=”Mood: ” after=”” between=”, ” /]
[custom_field field=”music” post_id=”2412″ limit=”0″ before=”Listening to: ” after=”

” between=”, ” /]