Labor Day weekend

It’s labor day weekend and I have no plans, I’ve been feeling really sick the past several days. I think I have some kind of virus, I feel so yucky. Mostly I’ve been sleeping (when I can) or doing pretty much nothing. I have a doctor appointment on Tuesday that I cannot miss so I hope I’m feeling better by then (it took me weeks to get this appointment, and I have a medical excuse form I need filled out by the deadline).

I don’t know what else to say really, just wishing everyone a safe and happy labor day to those who celebrate it.

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Dear mind

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I’ve had this problem for years. I think about everything, and I mean everything at night when I want to sleep. Does anyone else have this problem or have any suggestions? It’s 3:40 AM right now and my mind keeps racing and I can’t sleep.

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Goals

I’m turning 31 on September 8th, and got inspired to write this by Kya’s entry. I can’t come up with 31 things, as I’d rather set small goals to be more realistic for me to do.

1. Figure out my bad financial problems.
Don’t make my debt any worse.

2. Quit smoking, or at least switch back to my electronic cigarettes.
This will be a tough one.

3. Cut down on all the soda drinking.
This will also be a tough one.

4. Worry less and be more positive.
Again, this will be tough because of my OCD.

5. Stop with all the online shopping.
I need to do this because I don’t have a large income.

So that’s 5 goals, more than enough for me to deal with at the moment.

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Cheaper isn’t always better

I tried to switch hosts to save money, and this company (that I won’t mention unless asked) offered unlimited hosting for about $23/year so I jumped on it. I had nothing but problems with FTP, my site not working, no cPanel, etc. I’m sticking with my current host where I pay $8.95/month for unlimited hosting and I’ve had no problems, been with them for awhile. I recommend Host Gator, they’re great.

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Note to people who want to register

I lock some of my entries for personal reasons, so you have to register and login to see them. Lately I’ve been getting tons of spam registrations so it’s possible I didn’t approve you because I couldn’t tell if you were a bot or not. The best thing to do is E-mail me with your username so I can activate you.

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Had a bad day

I don’t know if it’s because it’s that time of the month (sorry, TMI, but relevant), but my OCD was horrible today. I was completely obsessed with all the bills I had to pay, mental health issues, family stuff, friend stuff. I think I drove my friends and my mom crazy too because I couldn’t stop going on and on about the same things. I can’t seem to focus on anything else either. I’m worn out from all of it. Talking to my mom helped a bit, but I can’t seem to talk much to my friends because they have their own issues and probably are tired of hearing about mine. I wish I had more caring and understanding friends.

I wish I could find a way to let this OCD stop controlling my life, but so far doctors haven’t been able to help me. If I could just focus on other things that would be great, but that could be me ADD (which my doctor doesn’t want to treat for some reason).

Just needed to vent.

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RIP Robin Williams

I was very saddened to hear about his death. I loved the movies he was in and he always made me laugh. He also reminded me a lot of my dad. I don’t know what to say other than that, it’s just shocking sad news. What a terrible loss.

robin

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We made up

I worked things out with my friend, she apologized to me for her behavior which I wasn’t expecting. Things seem to be ok now.

I haven’t been doing too well, I’ve been under so much stress because the bills keep piling up and I barely have enough to pay them all. I’m doing the best I can though. It is taking it’s toll on me mentally and physically. I hate bills!

I’m also really upset about my doctor’s office new policy. Now they only allow you to come in to see the doctor when you run out of medication. Lately he has just been refilling the medication without having me come in. This isn’t good because I have mental health issues and need to be seeing a doctor. I called them a few days ago because I’m having problems with my anti-depressant (lots of bad side effects). He said to go off the medication. I said I needed a different medication then because it’s not good for me to be off of anti-depressants. I was told to call back on the 18th (why the 18th?) to schedule an appointment. Not liking this at all.

I wish things would improve, but it doesn’t seem to be going that way. Bad luck I guess.

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I guess this is it

It seems my ex-girlfriend and I’s friendship is over. She’s been ignoring me and deleted me from Facebook. I blocked her number too. Being friends with an ex has never worked for me and this isn’t working. I know she has a lot she’s dealing with right now, but I just can’t be friends with her. This is hard to do because she lives by me. I’m going to try to avoid her as much as possible. She’s causing unnecessary stress in my life and it has to stop. She’s also not very understanding of me and my illnesses and I don’t need a friend like that.

I just want to move on with my life.

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