I can’t believe this

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Saw the doctor yesterday

I explained everything that has been going on, and he prescribed me Prisiq (which my insurance won’t cover, grr) and Chantix. I’m glad the Chantix was covered because I really need to quit smoking. So I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about the Pristiq, the pharmacy told me about it needing a prior authorization, but my insurance always deny those. My doctor will have to fill out paperwork to get it covered, and I’m not sure if he’s going to do that or not. Here’s hoping.

Selling my iPhone

I’m selling my pink iPhone 5c 16gb for Verizon for $300 with free shipping. I’ll only accept PayPal and ship within the United States.


It is like new with no scratches and works perfectly. E-mail me if interested.

No depression after going off anti-depressants

I’ve been taking anti-depressants since high school for severe depression, doctors have tried almost all of them on me and none of them really worked. Recently, I found out I was out of refills and kept trying to get the doctor to refill them, but for some reason he isn’t. So, I’ve gone completely off of them and I’m no longer feeling depressed. Sounds pretty strange, I wonder if this is just temporary or if the medication was actually making me worse. I see my doctor on Friday so I’m going to discuss this with him, even though he’ll probably think I’m full of it. If these medications really were making me worse, I’m not going to be too happy about it. We’ll see what happens after I talk to him I guess.

Couldn’t go to the show tonight

I was supposed to see Whitechapel tonight, but I couldn’t go. I was having panic attacks and felt sick. Devil Driver was headlining (don’t know anything about them, but they must be big to have the radio station there). I’m just not in a good enough place mentally to handle being around that many people. Ever since my doctor put me on Luvox I’ve been doing really bad. I see him again on the 29th so I’m hoping he’ll actually listen to me and put me back on what I was on before. It seems he just wants to talk at me instead of listening. I’ve already had doctors switched around and I’m getting tired of it. I’m doing terrible so he needs to do something about it. I’m already bummed enough for missing one of my favorite bands that I paid to see (that’s about a $25 loss). If I can’t do the things I enjoy or barely leave the house, something needs to be done. I just hate feeling like this.

I miss you grandma


It’s been about 9 years since you left me, but I still miss you every day. I wish you were still here because you completely understood me and was a best friend to me.

I remember dancing to this song with her as a child, she’d play it on her record player and it reminds me of happier times.

Getting a new phone

I currently have the iPhone 5c and this was my first iPhone. I had always liked Android but I wanted to try something new. The iPhone is just not for me.


This will be my new phone, the Samsung Galaxy S5. I can’t wait until it’s delivered.

I’m late on this

I still can’t believe what happened with Tim Lambesis of As I Lay Dying. Here is some more information on what happened. When I met him, he seemed really nice. It just goes to show that you really don’t know a person even if you’ve met them. They were one of my favorite bands, it’s sad to see it all end.

So now the other members of As I Lay Dying have started a new band called Wovenwar. I was expecting screaming but it’s all clean vocals. I like their new song, but it just wasn’t what I was expecting.

Great book I just read


I thought this was a great book, I could completely relate to what the author had to say (minus the asexuality part). I would definitely recommend it if you have Asperger’s or know someone who has it.

Be Thankful

Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire, if you did, what would there be to look forward to? Be thankful when you don’t know something for it gives you the opportunity to learn. Be thankful for the difficult times. During those times you grow. Be thankful for your limitations because they give you opportunities for improvement. Be thankful for each new challenge because it will build your strength and character. Be thankful for your mistakes, they will teach you valuable lessons. Be thankful when you’re tired and weary, because it means you’ve made a difference. It is easy to be thankful for the good things. A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks. Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive. Find a way to be thankful for your troubles and they can become your blessings.

-Author unknown


I wanted to share this cool site called Yerdle which is a online marketplace where you get stuff for free. When you sign up, you get 250 credits and to earn more credits you can put some stuff of yours up there.

With the free credits from joining I got 3 stuffed animals and 2 LED ducks. The thing is you have to pay $2-4 shipping but the items are free.

Downward spiral

I’m having a rough night, mentally. I feel like I’m about to break down. I wish my doctor could figure out what is wrong with me. Maybe I’m on the wrong medications or the wrong doses. I also have a strong suspicion that I may be bipolar, I told the doctor my family history of it and he seemed to brush it off. Some days I’m ok and some days (or nights) I’m not. I’m now regretting canceling my therapy appointment, it might have helped to talk about it. My mom seems to think I’m getting worse and I’d have to agree. I really hope it doesn’t get to the point where I’d have to be hospitalized. I absolutely hate hospitals. I have been hospitalized in the past for mental issues and it was no help. I felt like a prisoner surrounded by really crazy people.

On a positive note, I finally made it to the grocery store without too much anxiety or stress. I only picked up a few things until I get paid.