My depression unfortunately has gotten worse. I’ve always struggled with depression, but it seems after the accident I got into (don’t want to get into too many details, I bumped into someone on a scooter because I didn’t see him). I’ve never been in an accident before and I guess the whole thing shook me up even though it wasn’t a bad accident. I have a new doctor now, and he switched my medication in hopes that it will make me feel better. That stuff takes awhile to get into my system and start working, so we’ll see.
I think part of it also has to do with being so far away from my family, I really miss them. I don’t know, maybe at some point I’ll have to move back to Pennsylvania even though I hated it there. I hope it doesn’t come to that. It’s hard to care about things (like this site) because of how lousy I’ve been feeling. Depression is just a rough thing to go through especially if it’s severe. All the weight I’ve gained hasn’t helped either, I just hope I start feeling better at some point.
It’s been really hot lately, around 90 degrees. They decided at the last minute to replace air conditioning units at my apartment complex. They’ve been doing construction work for about a month (which is annoying itself too) and according to the manager, the air conditioning won’t be on until a week from tomorrow. I’m so tired of this hot apartment I could scream. I have several fans going but it doesn’t help much. I did renew my lease but am wondering if I should have or not, there always seems to be something going wrong around here. It’s too hot to not have air conditioning, I have no clue what they were thinking waiting until the last minute to do all this.
Some of the staff live here themselves so it’s nice to know that they have to suffer too.
I’m reluctant to sell anything on there again. I sent a brand new with tags book/Bible cover to the buyer. She claimed it had ink stains all over it which wasn’t true. It certainly wasn’t like that when I shipped it. She also sent me a picture of said stains and it doesn’t even look like the item I sent her. So she opened a case against me because she didn’t like my policy of buyer paying return shipping. I’m in the middle of writing and essay and couldn’t deal with this woman anymore so I just refunded her. Then she left me a negative stating I didn’t refund her shipping costs which I did. All this drama over a $6 item.
Lately any guy I meet online is always pushy to meet right away, and aren’t understanding of me needing time to get to know them better first. I also have an anxiety/panic disorder which may have something to do with it. In my opinion, talking to someone for only a few weeks and them wanting to meet is a bit soon. I’ve heard so many stories of women being hurt or killed from meeting guys online. I’m just trying to be safe and I want to feel comfortable. Insulting me will make me not even want to meet also. Telling me they are a “nice guy” doesn’t mean anything either. Is this really that unreasonable, or are they just upset that I’m not giving into their demands? I think it’s the latter.
I’ve been really missing my mom, I talk to her on the phone a lot and occasionally we e-mail, and maybe video chat once in a blue moon. It’s not the same as seeing her in person. It’s hard for me that she’s on the other side of the country. I wish she was able to fly out and see me, but she doesn’t know when she can. I’ve felt like I’ve really needed her especially during the hard times I’m going through. She is the most important person in my life and it’s hard. I know making the decision to stay here was the right one for me, but I just wish she could visit. She said spring or fall, seems like a long time to wait.
I’ve been really sick lately, I’m not sure if it’s a really bad cold or the flu. Either way I hope I feel better soon. I went and saw Every Time I Die on the 18th, it was a good show. When the first band was playing someone already got arrested, not sure what for. I actually enjoy going to shows alone, the last one I went to I barely remembered because I was so focused on the person I was there with. All in all it was fun.